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A Death Note Sporking Part 1Category: Sporkings
Tuesday, 20 February 2007
08:32:41 PM (GMT)
Author: LiL DraGoNs2er
Title: Girl with a Lock, Detective with a Key.
Rating: Pain
Full Name (including any titles): Saika Manami, Sin
Full Species(es): Canoncharacterus Rippofficus
Hair Color (include adjectives): "long warm chestnut hair"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "chocolate brown eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: none
Special Possessions (if any): A Death Note, L's love
Origin: The Pit of Dispair (Fanfiction.net)
Connections To Canon Characters: Claims to be dating L
Special Abilities: none...yet
Other Annoying Traits: The fact that this chapter is set in england...And yet they
still use the Japanese Naming conventions.
I Say/Notes: It's boring. That and it's 11 chapters long. Also the canon characters
don't even appear in this chapter. My first sporking- My mom liked it...as did
Raver-chan... So it's going up...It DOES contain spoilers up until the end of the
series...you've been warned. Also, i'm too lazy to do the color tags.

We find our heroes in the Sporking theater as always-

Girl with a Lock, Detective with a Key.

Raito: Oh! That title’s not suggestive at all!
L: Shhh! It’s starting.
Raito: It’s just the disclaimer.
L: It still might be important.
Raito: Since when did you care about these stupid things?
L: Since I am apparently a main character. Besides, there’s an eight percent chance
that this fic has at least ONE redeeming quality.
Raito: I doubt that. 

Disclaimer: Saika is my character, anything else to do with Death Note is not mine.
A/N: This is my first Death Note fic, I’m totally in love with L as you can see, so
I put him with an OC, I don’t mind L and Raito together... but I’m not up for
writing yaoi..yet. Heheh, please review!

L: *facepalm* Oh God! It’s a suefic. The possibility of any redeeming qualities has
officially dropped down to two.
Raito: Wow, optimistic much?
L: There’s still hope. *flips ahead* Wait, no there isn’t.
Raito: See, I told you we should’ve just stayed home. 
L: We couldn’t have stayed home. We’re dead; remember.
Raito: Yeah, I know. When Ryuk said that “those who have used the death note can
neither go to heaven nor hell” I assumed he was saying that we’d be stuck in
limbo or something, not this never-ending torture.
L: Look on the Bright side, Raito-kun. *grins* At least they have cake here.
Raito: Shut up, it’s starting.

Sin wasn’t a jolly Shinigami when it comes to staring at completely nothing in the
Realm of the Shinigami. 

Raito: Well that was redundant.
L: Yes, Just like it was redundant for you to say that.

He hated apples too. He remembered when Ryuk the annoying God kept waving rotten
looking apples in his face.

L: Wait; Raito-kun, I have a question. Is there even such a thing as a “jolly
Ryuk: No there isn’t, well at least, if there is, I haven’t met him.
Raito: Hey, Ryuk. How’d you get here? I thought you guys didn’t die, well not
easily anyway.
Ryuk: The sporker thinks that- since there is an OC that’s a shinigami- I need to
be here to balance things out. By the way, I’m not THAT annoying right?
Both: …Of course not…*sweatdrops* 

Snip (Superfluous description, Sin’s apparently the extremely rare “Garylouicus
Shinigamiromantica” more commonly known as
The description also has a terminal case of “Let’s throw a bunch stuff that would
look cool separately together because that won’t make the character like a complete
mess will it? -itus”. Sin basically appears to be the illegitimate child of Ryuk
and a zombie.) (actually...i can't quite bring myself to leave it out...so i
won't--Sin was a rookie shinigami... and he still had some of his organs. He had a
heart of rotten flesh that was still pumping in a very disturbing (well to a human it
would be) way... he still had muscles that looked as if they had melted around his
skeleton like form. His face was slowly forming as a cracked mask of white with black
slits for his eyes.
He had large bat like wings; one however was ripped of its skin, so it looked as if
he had one black healthy (if one could call anything of a shinigami healthy) large
wing while the other was just a skeleton.)

Not many shinigami had something to do. Many just slumber, and Sin would just watch
them every few minutes. But it wasn’t until he decided to peek into the Human
World, where almost everything changed for him. What could a shinigami possibly see
in an eighteen year old student with long warm chestnut hair and chocolate brown

L: This seems oddly familiar…
Raito: That’s because this part is directly ripped off from that whole “How to
kill a shinigami” thing.
L: Oh great, Just what the world needs, another Misa. 
Raito: I thought you liked her.
L: Nope, I was just playing you.
Raito: *glares* 

He certainly was no pervert... yet in a way he was just interested in watching her
doing her daily routine of sleeping, waking up, eating breakfast, go to Uni, return
home, shower, study, eat dinner, study and then sleep. Veeery interesting...

L: Watching her all of the time. That makes him a pervert.
Raito: But when you bugged my house…
L: That was different.
Raito: And how was that different exactly?
L: That was to prove that Raito-kun was kira. *grin*
Raito: *headdesk* Why didn’t I just kill you when I had the chance?
L: Because I’m better than you.
Raito: *glares daggers*
Ryuk: As much as I’m enjoying this fight, I have to tell you; this fic’s eleven
chapters long and if we ever want to be done with this...

Perhaps it was her smile that got him interested? Sin knew his limits of interest
however. He had no limit to hating something, but to being interested in something or
even someone, he knew his barrier well. She was human. He was a death god.
An unlikely combination.

Raito: Hopefully this “unlikely combination” will result in character death.
All: Hooray!
L: However, as this is a suefic, there is only a one percent chance of that.
All: Awwww.

He wouldn’t have minded just sitting on his rock, watching the girl in the human
world for the rest of his long life... however she will die of old age if not any
freak accident installed for her.

L: Shouldn’t there have been a comma in there somewhere?
Raito: Would the sentence be understandable even if it did?
L: Point taken.
Ryuk: The stu-nigami would have better grammar if he ate more apples. *pout*
Misa: *Mimes telephone* Hello, Sears? I need someone to come install my freak
accident for me.  
Raito: when did you get here Misa?
Misa: Misa came in while you two were fighting.
All: …

Sometimes he’d wonder what she’d do if she saw him? Probably die of a heart
attack. She was way too innocent to be dealing with deathly creatures. But he
didn’t really have time to make any proper choice, when she was being chased by
some drunk bastard. 

Ryuk: We’re not “deathly creatures” we’re effing GODS! Gods of DEATH! Not

So what did he do? 

All: We don’t care!

He dropped it; his Death Note. He spread his wings (the crap wing and the good wing;
it’s a wonder how he can fly without losing balance) and swooped down, as if racing
the black book itself.

Raito: It’s a wonder that you think that we ever cared.

As he hoped and planned; it fell right before the drunk’s step.
“Eh, whazzis?” he said in a slur. “Jus’ dropped like lat!” he made a grin
and picked it up, as the girl backed to the edge of the pier. “MONSTEEEER!

L: If he had planned properly he wouldn’t have needed to hope.
Raito: I’m not going to obsess over grammatical errors… I’m not going to obsess
over grammatical errors… *twitch* 
Misa: Just keep telling yourself that hon. 

Sin growled and swooped down to his level. He flew straight through him, scaring the
drunk out of his pants. 

All: …*shudders* 

The drunk stumbled back and fell right off the edge of the pier and into the dark
water (it’s night by the way). 

Raito: *grumbles* Why didn’t I use the death note to kill these stupid suethors? 
L: Because, unfortunately for us all, hindsight is 20/20. 
Raito: I hate you.

“HELP! I CAN’T SWIM!” he gurgled and sank after a minute of struggling. Bubbles
emerged from the depths of the water and then nothing.
The chestnut haired girl breathed shakily as she edged to the water. Nothing but the
black abyss of the liquid. 

Raito: Oh, NOW we get the descriptive language, we certainly could have used that
when you only thought to mention the time of day as an afterthought.
L: Have some cake- you’ll feel better.
Raito: …*takes cake*
Misa: Wait; The Sue’s just a crappy rippoff of Misa? How lame is that?
L, Raito, and Ryuk: Very.

She swallowed and glanced at the ‘innocent’ black book lying at the edge, almost
tipping to the surface of the water. She picked it up and flipped through the pages.
Nothing but lined pages. She frowned and looked at the cover. There was a silver
‘S’ (in the same font as the font used for ‘L’),

L: Actually, I understand Raito-kun’s way of thinking. Would it really have been
that hard to say something about a decorative gothic script? Seriously.
Raito: You’re just mad because the stu took your font.

“That is there to make it clear to the others that this book is mine...was
“Others...?” echoed the girl, not looking where the voice came from.
“Other shinigami.” 
“Shini—what?” the girl whirled around and gasped, dropping the book.
“My name is Sin. And yours... is Manami Saika, isn’t it?”

Raito: *as Sue* Oh, Yes! Of course my name’s Japanese! I’m a Mary Sue!
It would be waay to original and un-speshul of me to have a name that wasn’t in

That was their first meeting. Sin would never forget her horrified look of seeing a
‘monster’ floating before her and well... who would blame her?
It wasn’t so bad to communicate with Saika as Sin thought. He knew her as ‘Sai’
and she’d occasionally point out that their names both start with ‘S’ and it
was coincidental about the letter ‘S’ on the cover of the Death Note. She was
still in shock but it wasn’t long til she had conversations with him as if he too
were human. Slightly, Sin would find that insulting. But with Sai, he was all too
happy talking with her, having her seeing him instead of him seeing her secretly from
the other Realm.

Ryuk: I find this sad excuse for a shinigami infuriating…I thought the lazy ones
were bad…this one’s just pathetic. In fact this whole story gives me a headache.
…I need an apple… 
Raito: Headaches are a common side affect of these things.
L: Also- nausea, confusion, general hatred, and the loss of will to live.
Misa: Just say no to badfics.

She took in the rules of the Death Note into depth and because of this, she figured
how this rumoured ‘Kira’ was killing criminals around the world and mainly in

Raito: This fic is redundant to the point of redundancy. 
L: …
‘It looks likes I’ll be seeing Ryuk sooner than I thought’, Sin thought.
There were many coincidences with Sai that it looked too suspicious for them to be
coincidences. For instance, Manami Saika was the world’s famous detective’s

Misa: WHAT!
L: *facepalm* I hate my life.
Raito: *laughing* L just pulled a roxas!
Ryuk: Wow…that was OOC. The sporker must be as bored as we are.


Raito: One chapter down, ten to go…

RaverAlchemist says:   20 February 2007   267899  
Behold~! Lady-Chans Amazing abilities to bring Humor to even the
dullest of minds. Wait...
Anyways, Woooot! :d I can't wait for the others.
FergieRocks says:   28 February 2007   433384  
wow great story
‹BOOMSHAKALAKA› says :   4 March 2007   575197  
really cool didnt understand some of it but good

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