Monday, 13 February 2012
12:41:42 AM (GMT)
I suppose this is more for Kirti because I think she might be the only one who cares
about the story still atm.
Just wanted to let you know that there are a few rewritten chapters, and that I made
a lot of small changes to the original story.
1. Eichiro isn't the prince of the land now. He is a Lord. Of which city, I'm not
sure yet. I'm close to settling on Solem, since that would explain how he knew Teren
and Hwaga and everything. In addition, Mana is no longer the "Chosenplayer" as that
sounds really cliche and stuff. Still trying to work out kinks of her status in the
2. More of an effort is made to demonstrate Mana's situation before she sets out to
find Eichiro. She's also given evidence that Eichiro is real instead of just
embarking on a gut feeling.
3. The four main characters I've been attempting to flesh out a lot more. Mana,
instead of just being typical nice hero, is given more of a New York personality. She
has a thick skin, is skeptical and sarcastic, but has a wishful heart deep down
inside somewhere. Sera is fleshed out as being more of a cynic, much like Mana, but
also having sense on her head. The downside is that she's a bit more of a
worry-wart/fraidy-cat and often regrets her bad desisions. Shiki is a bit more of a
ditz than before, her bubbly personality doing well to contrast Sera's
cool-headedness. This makes Mana the odd one out of their trio of friendship. Eichiro
stays close to his original personality. He's as elusive as ever, but he has good
reasons most of the time.
4. Shikuro is also a Lord now. I haven't considered which city he's a Lord of yet.
5. A lot of characters have been cut out, and if they weren't, they were altered.
TLO is here now: