This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
Saturday, 8 October 2011
07:08:23 PM (GMT)
Hey, we all have them.
I wanted this year to be the one where I finally get my mile time below seven
minutes. I got exactly seven because i was crouched down double tying my shoe
when the coach said "Go". That is not a joke. Double tying my shoe- that was
my one second. That was the moment that stood between me and achieving my goals.
Also, I wasn't picked as one of the runners who will represent our team in Manhattan
tomorrow. I wasn't quite good enough.
Tickets to a show in New York that my sister and I wanted (Starkid, featuring Darren
Criss) sold out in fifteen second at presale, ten seconds for actual sale. We didn't
get them. A friend of mine who only knew about the show because I told her I was
This week I found out that a friend of mine, used to be one of my best
friends, actually changed her name and is now a boy named Elliot, and has been for a
few months, but just never mentioned it to me.
Another best friend of mine was crying and is going through some boy related tragedy
and hasn't explained to me what's going on, which makes me feel like shit.
Another best friend was on the verge of suicide the other day and won't tell me
what's going on, which scares me so much, and she was talking to everyone except me
about her feelings while it was going on. I don't ever want to lose her.
The trouble is that I'm the emotionally balanced one- the one with the clean breakup,
who doesn't have drama with boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, or family, and I am-
generally- someone who my friends go to when things are going wrong for them. Since
friends of mine are going through so much, I can't really let on that I'm rather
unhappy right now too. They don't need that.
Why am I the only one who responds to unhappiness by trying not to be?
Why do so many people feel the need to cry in public and spend days or weeks in
Why is it that only I find things that take my mind off of it?
I saw a praying mantis in the middle of the road during yesterdays workout. It was
Note: No, this is not the particular mantis I saw.
Last edited: 8 October 2011
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