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Bad week- also, mantis.Category: (general)
Saturday, 8 October 2011
07:08:23 PM (GMT)
Hey, we all have them.

I wanted this year to be the one where I finally get my mile time below seven
minutes. I got exactly seven because i was crouched down double tying my shoe
when the coach said "Go". That is not a joke. Double tying my shoe- that was
my one second. That was the moment that stood between me and achieving my goals.

Also, I wasn't picked as one of the runners who will represent our team in Manhattan
tomorrow. I wasn't quite good enough.

Tickets to a show in New York that my sister and I wanted (Starkid, featuring Darren
Criss) sold out in fifteen second at presale, ten seconds for actual sale. We didn't
get them. A friend of mine who only knew about the show because I told her I was
excited did. 

This week I found out that a friend of mine, used to be one of my best
friends, actually changed her name and is now a boy named Elliot, and has been for a
few months, but just never mentioned it to me.

Another best friend of mine was crying and is going through some boy related tragedy
and hasn't explained to me what's going on, which makes me feel like shit.

Another best friend was on the verge of suicide the other day and won't tell me
what's going on, which scares me so much, and she was talking to everyone except me
about her feelings while it was going on. I don't ever want to lose her.


The trouble is that I'm the emotionally balanced one- the one with the clean breakup,
who doesn't have drama with boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, or family, and I am-
generally- someone who my friends go to when things are going wrong for them. Since
friends of mine are going through so much, I can't really let on that I'm rather
unhappy right now too. They don't need that. 
Why am I the only one who responds to unhappiness by trying not to be?
Why do so many people feel the need to cry in public and spend days or weeks in
despair?
Why is it that only I find things that take my mind off of it?




I saw a praying mantis in the middle of the road during yesterdays workout. It was
pretty cool.

MANTIS LOVE
Note: No, this is not the particular mantis I saw.
Last edited: 8 October 2011

Comments 
tiggerlemon101 says:   9 October 2011   969591  
I love praying mantises.  They actually excite me.

The trouble is that I'm the emotionally balanced one- the one with
the clean breakup, who doesn't have drama with boyfriends,
girlfriends, friends, or family, and I am- generally- someone who my
friends go to when things are going wrong for them. Since friends of
mine are going through so much, I can't really let on that I'm rather
unhappy right now too. They don't need that.
Maybe they don't go to you because they don't think you'll understand;
they probably realize deep down that you're a lot more mature than
they are and they won't appreciate what you have to say, despire the
fact that it's what they really need.  That's what happens to me a
lot.

Why am I the only one who responds to unhappiness by trying not to
be?
Why do so many people feel the need to cry in public and spend days or
weeks in despair?
Why is it that only I find things that take my mind off of it?
Story of my life.

I'm here for you.
 
‹-赤い激怒-› says:   9 October 2011   347736  
They may not go to you because they know you have other problems that
are yours.
Also.
Novemberpreperations.
NOVEMBER.
NANOWRIMO.
DISTRACTIONS.
/remembersignoringtechnique

Oh and about the questions... it's because you're a Jar W. Which may
be a stereotype or part of the territory or somethingelse.
But anyway.


...
Whoa, Mantis
 
Kirti says:   9 October 2011   987555  
@tiggerlemon101 
Usually not having boyfriend drama is why they talk to me about it-
I'm the outsider looking in. I see how these problems arise, develop,
and are resolved without getting muddled in the emotions of it, so I
can explain exactly how to deal with this stuff, or at least why it's
happening.
@Alice_POX 
Nope. I was eating lunch with unnamed depressed friend and someone
came up to us and asked "How are you?" of depressed friend and she
said "Pretty damn crappy." and I said "That goes for both of us,
actually." and both of them were like "Wait, what?". I've been
persistently chipper to cheer her up. No one can tell I'm upset until
I mention it, which I generally don't. 
 
‹-赤い激怒-› says:   11 October 2011   193680  
@Kirti 
BUT THEN AGAIN, they know you have things like classes. And writing.
And Emily. Er. That doesn't make sense but you geddit. 
 
Kirti says :   12 October 2011   624427  
@Alice_POX 
When I say something is wrong or that I'm stressed out, it surprises
anyone. I'm better at reading others than they are at reading me, or
maybe it's just my unused acting skills helping me out. Either way, I
never act upset, and nobody questions the act unless I bring their
attention to it, which is rarely. (Especially if the friends don't
stalk my facebook statuses, which most of them do not.) 
 

 
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