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This diary entry is written by Himeka_chan. ( View all entries )

My current guy problemCategory: (general)
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
06:10:49 AM (GMT)
Just so you know, this is an extremely long story that covers two years...

So for all of this to make sense I have to tell you something: I am not really 19...
I'm 15... yeah... I slipped when I picked my age on hear... but yeah.

Since first grade I was homeschooled. I decided I wanted to start school in the
eighth grade. so I did.

Education wise I was way far ahead of the kids in my class, but socially I was pretty
much a falure... basically your average nerd story. The only thing is that I have
above average looks... so even though I wasn't really interested in any of the guys,
they were interested in me and because I was new a lot of the girls where threatend
because I didn't know the 'order' of things. I don't know if they intentionally meant
to make my life living Hell... but I did know that the wanted to try and put me in my
place. I just tried to ignore them and live my life really. Sadly, my choice of
crushes weren't the best that year.

Basically I ended up getting sucked into three people's love triangle.

So first I had a crush on this guy (we'll call him Sam) that this other girl liked
(we'll call her Shay). I told a few people that I had a crush on him, and they told
the whole school... and no one told me that Shay had a crush on him as well... Later
I would find out that they were telling her everything I siad.

Sometime later there was a party at a girls house that we were all invited to. A guy
that used to go to the school was invited to (We'll call him Oppa). Before the party
Sam kept saying how Oppa and I were exactly alike and how we would probably fall in
love the second we met. I thought that Sam was just making him up... So I was really
suspicious when I went to the party.

Oppa turned out to be very real... and very amazing. He really was exactly like me
plus more. We talked the whole night and then chatted on facebook even longer then
that.  I didn't want to admit that they were right... but they were. Shay suddenly
wanted to have this really close friendship with me. I didn't see past it to see her
real intentions though... so I was completely open about eveything.... yeah it sucks
to be a naturally trusting person.

Basically me and Oppa got really, really close over chat.. and we saw each other at
parties too. I still had a small crush on Sam too, since I saw him every day and we
got to have some of the most interesting conversations I've ever had in my life...
even if he was rude sometimes.

Soon Shay started to try and get me and Oppa together and I was all for it; but the I
started noticing some changes in Oppa... for some odd reason Shay had started to be
mean to him. She would say things like she never wanted to talk to him agian and the
block him on facebook. It would make him really depressed and so he would vent to me.
I would try my best to make him feel better and sometimes it did... but he just
wasn't the same when she would do things like that. She did it on a regular basis
too. One day they would be best friends and the next day she would hate him. It
really put him through a lot... but I was still there for him. Once on a particularly
long bout he had gotten completely over he her and was himself agian. I noticed that
she had started talking to Sam a lot. She told me once that she though they were
going to get together. She siad it to make me jealous, but I siad I didn't care
because I had Oppa.

One day it all changed. Oppa started being really hostile towards me and siad some
really acusing things... he told my that Shay had siad some things about me... and
that I had told her things about him that I hadn't. What hurt me the most was that he
siad he doesn't trust me. We had a fight and then stopped talking. Later I found out
that Shay's plan to hook up with Sam hadn't worked out.

After this she stopped talking to me at school all together and then started talking
about our conversations in front of other kids... One time she siad some really mean
and embarrasing things in front of the whole middle school when we were cramped in a
bus.... I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the horror I felt then...

After this happened I swore to myself that since we were all going to be going to go
to the same highschool... I would never interact with them... ever.

Sadly I did not keep my promise to myself. Mainly because Oppa siad that he wanted to
be friends. We tried... we really did, but it never worked. We settled on being
'frienemies' but when we were on the 'friend' side he had started to be mean to me so
I just ignored him all the time... Then in februrary he and Shay started fighting
agian. He comes to me whenever he's fighting with the person he talks to the most...
I guess that's my fault because I let him... but yeah. So he asked me if I could help
him with a book he was working on and I agreed.

We started talking on the phone for hours... but never about the book, and I was
suprised when it lasted over two weeks. We started hanging out all the time before
during and after school. I had a boyfriend at the time, but he wasn't ever around me
and didn't really make any effort so I didnt feel bad. I broke up with my boyfriend a
month and a half later and everyone thought it was because of Oppa (wich it wasn't...
I was just tired of the horrible relationship). I knew me and Oppa had serious
chemistry... but he didn't want a relationship so I was okay with that. Even the
teachers teased us about being together. I started to wonder if there was something I
was missing. I relationship did start to get Semi-romantic... but it was mainly stuff
that you could pass off as two friends joking around... and we were by all means
close enogh to do that. Everyone around us had already pegged us as basically
together though... they still do.

Him and Shay became friends agian and I started to panick... we had been talking
everyday and he missed a few days or wouldn't reply to my texts so I just assumeed
that it was the end. that was how it usually ended, but soon we picked it up agian.
We talked almost everyday until the end of the school year... and up until now.

Once agian he suddenly stopped calling/answering my calls and won't respond to my
text.... I though it would pass like before... but it hasn't. He called me once to
ask a question and then had to go... and then he called a few days ago and complianed
about a girl.... before we stopped talking he had been talking about he had to go
because someone was supposed to be calling him soon. I'm assuming that this is that
same girl.

I'm getting really drepessed.... not exactly over him.. I'm used to it, it's happened
plenty of times. We just haven't been able to be friends for this long so I'm really
sad to see it go... and yes... I do still love him.   I'm really tired of being his
second best though.... I don't mind just being his friend... but this makes me sad.
Last edited: 24 June 2011

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