Thursday, 12 May 2011
07:17:15 AM (GMT)
Hello, many of you know me as a person that is just on the other side of the
computer screen that you are currently browsing on. Checking out the latest updates,
looking on facebook or even at my diary that I have taken the time to make an entry
in. I have never been a good writer. I've always struggled in English because of
having to spell words properly. Something I never was very good at. I appreciate whom
ever is reading this I thank you greatly for taking the time as well as curtesy to
read this... I enjoy getting comments from people as well as messages saying they
enjoy something about me. Even if they are rude messages , I feel that people think I
am importan enough to take time and message me. When I had joined this site in
2007/2008 I was in a gutter. I didn't like who I was. I tried being someone that just
wasnt me. I eventually made friends on here that lived in Canada and somewhat close
to me. I enjoyed talking to them, they were nice people . Now your wondering why I
said 'we're' . The reason why I say we're is because after a few years the peoples
that I idolized as my friends later showed their true colours. They were mean and had
made it clear that me talking to them was a waste of my and their time. I was heart
broken. I felt that they were the only friends I ever truly had. You never feel the
pain I did until someone you have known for a long amount of time had said they want
nothing to do with you. I was hurt for so long, and still am slightly raw about the
subject of everything. I had than left for awhile. And didn't come back on until just
recently. Now I must bring up the subject of people calling me a poser. You should
never say anything until you see the persons real true colours. I am not emo, it was
at the time my idea to try to be that kind of person. I was a very emotional person,
and still am today. I shouldnt have labeled myself on here that was my biggest
mistake and I am willing to accept that fact.
I than began to believe everything people told me on this website. Which I should
have never done, i had been so nieve. Accepting everyone into my life when that was
the worse thing to do. I have lost trust in people on every website. Being causious
about everything. I didn't like the person I was becoming on the internet, writing
words that i have never done before, causing drama, just for someone to come and talk
to me. I craved the attention. There wasn't anything that I didnt want more. I have
thought continusly about deleting my account, but hesitated. I felt that I did so, I
would regret it. I want to start all over again. This time being who i really am.
Hoping for the world to accept the person that I am.
In Canada presently on May ,12, 2011, it is 3 : 26 am and being an 18 year old, i
have school in the morning.
I will write more, and converse more, as well as being more active on this site.
Anyways, continuing on what i was talking about. I want to start all over, make new
friends be nicer to people and perhaps less nieve. I was reading all of the old
comments i had on my profile, as well as Q&A's. I had seemed to make a lot of ruckus
around on this site. For that I apologize.
I feel that I am going to delete this site, and start a completely new image. Or just
create a new one. I hate the name. I hate labels.
Anyways. Please comment, or send me a message.
Last edited: 12 May 2011