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This diary entry is written by ‹Imperfected Kayyla;›. ( View all entries )
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Thinking of you.Category: (general)
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
10:40:48 PM (GMT)
It’s like a once in awhile thing, you come and go whenever you please. I shouldn’t be involved with it. I shouldn’t put up with it. It’s completely unnatural. I want to get away from you, but I always have the temptation to talk to you… I’m sorry I am so clingy to you, I can’t help it… Though you were never really there for me… Or really anyone for that matter. I understand completely that you are afraid of the whole relationship thing, and now… I know why you are. I’m surprised you actually told me. It’s okay to be afraid, not just relationships either; the future ahead of you too. I know I’m just young, but really, sweetie, it’s alright to be afraid. You’re such a smart kid; you can get thru anything… I feel like I’m onto two stepping stones, one for each foot. I am afraid to lose balance so I’m holding onto you and him both… I can’t let either of you go. It’s selfish of me, I know. I am afraid you’re going to leave again, even though we aren’t doing anything. I feel horrible for letting myself feel like this because of you. You give me the worst butterflies ever; it’s what I hate most about you. I hate how I can wrestle with you, and it turns into a lustful kind of thing. I hate how when I just look at you at the right moment I get the sudden immediate urge to kiss you… I hate how you make me laugh all the time with your stupid jokes…yes, stupid despite how funny they are, they’re stupid because I hate it. I hate how you can make me feel on top of the world then the next minute you have crushed me into the ground. All because you are afraid, I hope you know that I absolutely hate that. You won’t find many who will keep coming back for more of that bullshit. If you do, they must be a fool for you. Yeah, I admit it, I want you. I want you to stay. I want you to never leave my side. But I’m glad I don’t have you. I do feel good. I haven’t cried over you for awhile. It’s improvement for sure. =] But, I do think of you almost every day… Sometimes I see your face in my dreams. It does put me down quite a bit, but I get right back up. I miss you, I miss how we use to be, I miss the old us, I miss everything we’ve done, I miss seeing you almost every single day… I know you miss me too, I can see it, I can feel it… You are lonely… I wish I could fix that for you, but I can’t, love. =[ I just wish you’d stay… To me, you are perfect. <3

Oroborus21 says :   15 July 2010   102975  
this was interesting. if its about a guy? then he would be lucky to
have you michaela


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