Monday, 7 December 2009
12:59:13 PM (GMT)
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't even quit the game.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Friends come and go. Pizza will be there forever.
It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.
Into every life, some rain must fall; usually when your car windows are down.
The dingo took my baby!
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole.
I carried a watermelon.
Everybody is just figments of my imagination.
I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
Instant human! Just add coffee.
I don't care where you go - just get lost.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
The problem with reality is a lack of background music.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
One day, you're going to look back on this, and then plow into a parked car.
Realize that no matter what you do, the grocery store check-out line you're in will
always take the longest.
I'm not myself today; maybe I'm you.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Go now, or forever hold your pee.
I'm not crazy 'cause I take the right pills everyday
If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy.
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