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This diary entry is written by Shayna_300. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: I need an answer in category life

please readCategory: life
Friday, 9 May 2008
06:07:16 PM (GMT)
my depression has gotten worse. but I won't tell anyone, and I don't know why.
I had gotten to where I would wake up and start telling myself I'm worthless and
everyone hates me. then I would scratch my arms to the point that they were
bleeding.  I forced myself to wear slong sleeve pajamas now. I'll be at home
by myself and just start crying because I feel that I AM worthless. I can't
help it. the only thing I enjoy in life anymore is music. i drink and smoke to steady
my nerves.
i have so many scars on my arms and face from scratching them. I have
to make up excuses when people ask me about them. It's awful, and all I need
are answers. Why do I have to deal with depression? life use to be so great. 
I had tons of friends and loved skool. Now i try to ignore everything in life.
What could've started this?

Green_Buddy says:   10 May 2008   929935  
Well, you know that you're not unloved but you feel that way.
And you know that you're not worthless and have potential to do
anything that you want to do unless its become some crazy thing that
never happened before.
And who would you say hates you by the way?
Why would tehy hate you?
Is it deppresion cause that not your fault.
You shouldn't hurt yourself cause that gets you know where.
It just causes pain and it sounds like you go through enough.
And since you love music so much, I think you may want to focus on
I actually focus on it know.
Know with the scars
You may not want to say that you did them t yourself, but say that
I've been really deppresed lately, and I haven't been able to control
what I do.
And these scars are from not consentrating at hoema nd accidently
hurting myself.
And it is an accident because its deppresion.
You can't say that its your fault. Cause its not.
KageReject says :   10 May 2008   591526  
I'm not entirely sure what and how this started.  I'm not sure why
you feel you are worthless.  To keep yourself from scratching so hard,
try clipping your nails shorter, or put that thin clear tape around
the top of your fingers or on your nails so they can't harm you. 
Often people that are depressed lack the making of this chemical (I
forgot the name), and take these pills that help your body make it. 
The pills are not happy-pills, like an addictive drug or anything like
that.  People that take them are normal, not depressed.  They can
still be sad, angry, happy, or any other feeling.  Just normal.  You
should tell a parent or a trusts adult (lol, I sound so silly saying
that) that you think or know you are depressed, and that you recommend
you see a doctor about this as soon as possible.  If the doctor says
nothing then asking about these pills, if you're old enough to take


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