Sunday, 18 October 2009
05:17:26 AM (GMT)
This is my letter to god i wrote
I know its stupid to write a letter to you when there's praying, and reading the
bible and church.
But i can't speak to pray, my eyes burn too bad to read, and church makes me want to
I know you know i'm not happy. And i know i always pray for everyone i love
happiness, but just this once, i want to beg you for mine.
I know you get a lot of crying teenage girls crying over some stupid boy and i'm not
surprised. I've been there too many times myself.
But that's not what this is.
I wanted to say that if me being with ____ didn't make him happy then i really wish
he'd just Go with the other girl. At the same time though i wanted to say that if you
loved me you'd want me to be happy with him. That you'd help me. But that'd be wrong.
Cause me and him will never be together and you still love me. Lucky me.
What this letter is about though is recently This guy i loved (perry) killed himself
and i know you go to hell for that but i want him in heaven. Cause i know that if i
ever killed myself i'd want to go to heaven too. I was soo mad at Perry for doing it.
It was selfish and it hurts everyday. They say the weak commit suicide. I'm starting
to think it's the SMART that do it.
I know if i commited suicide i'd be missed. I know some people love me. But it's not
about people. I'm just not happy.
I haven't been truly happy for 738 days now. Yes, i've been counting. Cause ever
since the first day i've been writing a letter to you and i'm not getting any
happier. This is my 738th letter!! And guess what, god?!!?
I still can't live like this. I want to know what you put me here on this earth to
do, so i can do it and be done. Cause i honestly don't want to live anymore. I jsut
don't have a reason to live. I'm not writing this under sadness or anger I made sure
i was emotionally stable before writing this so i'd know everything was true.
I decided since praying and writing for happiness isn't working i'd pray for
A) Please Change the world and let people decide it's jokay for me to be happy,
B) Please kill me.
~Hayley Hannah Beth Belle
Elizabeth Roberson Major.