Sunday, 16 November 2008
01:22:58 AM (GMT)
WTF!!! i messed up.
is it just me, or did i just run out of luck?
was i just born this way?
will i ever b ok?
y does it hurt 2 b me?
i just want 2 break free!
i dont know wat 2 do anymore.
i dont know if i can even do this anymore.
but i cant take away myself.
i cant leave a mess like that for my family 2 cleanup nd just get over it.
so, im just going 2 live this life.
it mite b boring , hopeless, and painful but, u dont just live life for u.
i know i dont want any of my friends 2 go away.
i dont want 2 cry anymore. somtimes i dont even know wat im cring about.
some days the emotional pain hurts so bad it just come out of my eyes.
i cant cut anymor cuz it hurts my loved ones.
drugs nd alcohol isnt any better.
but its eaier 2 hide.
i dont want 2 hide anymore.
but, i dont really feel anything but nothingness.
im sure im not the only one with this misforturn.
and maybe its just a phase but, does a phase last for 4 years??????
i dont know. i just dont know anymore.
life dosnt come with a direction packet. only concerns and razors.
u know wat? 4 the last 2 weeks, ive been waiting 4 a nice, long, kind, loving hug,
but i didnt find one.
i know a hug wont like, magicly cure me or anything, but, its just something ive been
craving beside some alcohol. hugs wont kill me.
7 months since ive had a boy friend.
someone other that a shrink to talk to.
some one i know wont judge me or tell me i have some kind of mental disorder.love me
someone i can trust and wud b with me.
i dont feel like writing anymore.
maybe a little later.