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This diary entry is written by Danie_qt_93. ( View all entries )
 
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OMG THESE ARE FunyCategory: (general)
Thursday, 28 December 2006
05:09:52 PM (GMT)
ok im not trying to copy supertoi11
but i foound some funny things on the net 
notice... i did not make these up but they r funny

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at
strategic locations. 

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.


10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a
Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 

11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden
Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store. 

12. Play with the automatic doors. 

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc.
See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all
to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?" 

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test
drive. 

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue
to do this until they leave the department. 

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing
field. 

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say,
"Wow. Magic!" 

20. Put M&M's on layaway. 

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in
if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come,
Robin, to the Batcave!" 

26. TP as much of the store as possible. 

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people
just leave me alone?" 

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in
stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I.
Joes vs. the X-Men. 

32. Take bets on the battle described above. 

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35.
Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and
practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!" 

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 

42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the
pet food aisle, etc. 

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar
to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head). 

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off
with it without saying a word. 

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and
scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has
a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they
can put a little umbrella in it. 

51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the
store casually. 

52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in
strategic locations. 

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling,
"Red Rover!" 

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your
nose. 

57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an
interesting effect!!!) 

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where
the anti-depressants are. 

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors
of the rest room. 

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you
attempt to buy them. 

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the
fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to
them. 

63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then
stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in. 

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it
lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie." 

66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes
and throw it in various aisles. 

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 

68. If you?re female: Take some men?s clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try
them on. Act shocked and insist ?But I AM a man? if the attendant says anything. If
you?re a man, vice versa. 

69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren?t
looking. 

70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume
as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and
saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!" 

71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here. 

72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike
Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.) 

73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid
remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem. 

74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of
"Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo. 

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by,
rub up against their legs, etc. 

76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV?s to Young & the Restless, and
watch while sobbing loudly. 

77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell
your friends to act like they don't know you. 

78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a
cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying. 

79. One word: STREAK! 

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me". 

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples. 

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 

82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with
cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a
toaster. 

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream
and lice remedies are. 

84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". 

85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the
volumes to "10". 

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 

87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you?re
walking through the doors act like you?re expecting the alarms to go off. Then
quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can. 

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead,
and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department. 

90. Put lingerie in the men's department. 

91. Put super sexy women?s lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around. 

92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture. 

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it
blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 

94. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths.(Safety
warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.) 

95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and
"buzzing". 

96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept. 

97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" and kiss
him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if
you?re also a guy. 

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same
position for as long as possible. 

99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone. 

100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know
the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody
throws you out. 

101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash.
Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins. 

102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department.
Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks. 

103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited
about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note -
This really works) 

104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are endless.BONUS* Attempt all of
the above during the same visit. 




ok if anyone got this far good 4 u!
ok i think there funny so tell me wut u think
like if i should find some more... but not for wal mart

Comments 
funny_chick says:   28 December 2006   173571  
That was soooooooo funny. 
Im stupid enough that Im going to try 
them
redfire326 says:   28 December 2006   293413  
same here but i think it is too longgggggggg
Danie_qt_93 says:   28 December 2006   153823  
thanx should i try and find more? but make them shorter with only the
funniest one?
Danie_qt_93 says:   28 December 2006   273225  
i mean **ones
drandy says:   29 December 2006   194964  
they are really long
Danie_qt_93 says:   29 December 2006   635659  
i know ill make them shorter next time
sorry
‹delaneyDEBACLE(:› says:   31 December 2006   327456  
where did you find them?
Danie_qt_93 says:   31 December 2006   887244  
im not sure i searched on google
lol
Coora says :   7 May 2007   522392  
Lolz that was hilarious! I'm going to see if I can get some friends
to do those with  me!

 
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