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Dear Michael,Category: (general)
Thursday, 8 March 2012
07:34:36 PM (GMT)
Dear Michael, 

     I'm going to write you a letter now because maybe it will make you understand,
or something. Just kidding, I not giving you this letter.I'm only writing it because
I'm so used to writing you letters during algebra class, and I'm not quite ready to
let you go. I wanted to say that I'm sorry things didn't work out. I'm sorry I
couldn't be what you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I was never good for you, but mostly
I'm sorry you fell in love with your re-bound girl. I keep telling myself over and
over that that's not what I was but we all know it's true. I've talked to Sav. The
first time I ever talked to Sav, she said the word chub. I didn't even know the girl,
and she has my vocabulary. The vocabulary that no one else has ever had. She was a
dork, a debater, and pretty in a way guys don't often notice. What about me doesn't
scream Sav? Maybe I'm a bit less dramatic, or less emo, or less smart but I'm like a
mini her, and I don't like to think about that but that's why you liked me. Maybe you
stopped loving Sav, and started loving me, but that doesn't change that I was still
your re-bound girl. You know what you were to me? My first. My first love, the first
kiss that really meant anything, the first boy I ever really wanted to be with. Did
you ever think about how unfair the tables were? And yet I still loved you. 
    When you started freaking out about college, and me, I was honestly suprised. I
didn't see that coming, I figured you had thought about that. I figured you knew that
we would either break up eventually, or you would have to deal with a lot of shit.
That's what happens when you're dating a girl three years younger than you. You kind
of basically asked me to leave everything i've ever had, and run away with you to
college. To change schools, to leave all my friennds, my family, my life. I don't
care how much I love you, I need other people in my life. Family is forver, and so
are certain friends. Leaving them would be fourteen turns in the wrong direction,
while making one turn in the right direction. You're a debater, you should know these
things. My impact outweighs. I'm sorry you can't see why I'd say no, think about
being fifteen, and just packing your bags and leaving everyone behind. And who's to
say that even after I move in with you, things will be okay? What if I give up
everything for you and then end up with nothing? What do I do then, Michael. You
can't promise me that won't happen, because you promised me you wouldn't dump me over
the same things you did the first time around. What happened this time? The exact
same thing. YOU couldn't deal with the distance. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to
make us closer, I'm sorry I couldn't fix it. 
    I didn't want to be shitty and broken, and I didn't want you to, either. Look
where we are now? Gone. I'll miss you. 

-Emma


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