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Getting it out......Category: (general)
Saturday, 14 August 2010
03:57:23 AM (GMT)
All of you don't know me, well you may have talked to me but that don't mean shit.
You don't really know me. So there for you can't judge me and if you do, whatever
your not a big enough part of my life for it to really mean something or hurt/effect
me. But I have to get this off my chest because I'm scared as fuck.....I'm 17 years
old and I have a boyfriend who is wonderful but also 21. But its not like that at
all. We've been dating for 1 month and 6 days and I'm really happy with him. But
right now I'm terrified......I might be pregnant...I'm exactly 17 days late on my
period and I'm never late. But when we had sex it was my first real time and I heard
after your first time your period gets all fucked up but I'm still scared because I
don't think its that. I haven't even talked to him about it. I left him a message on
his phone tonight saying that when he gets the time tonight to call me because I have
a question for him. I was going to ask him if that night when he stayed the night
with me when my mom was gone, if there was any potability that....well....that this
could happen. Because if I am that HAS TO be the night it happened. But I don't know
if I can now, because as it gets closer to the time he's probably going to call I get
sicker and sicker to my stomach. When the phone rings my heart drops to the pit of my
stomach. I know he deserves to know but I don't want this all to be a false alarm and
put him through that. But then again I don't know if I can do this by myself any
more. Every time I think about it I just was to puke. And if I am I don't know what
I'm going to do....I've been doing stuff that a pregnant woman should not be doing, I
could have hurt it if I am....I'm so scared and confused and don't know what to do.
This could change my life....I'm going into my junior year of high school and
everyone knows how people look at girls in high school who are pregnant. They think
they are whores, I'll lose my friends and their family's will hate me...they will
think I'm such a bad person, when in truth I'm not. I use to think that I'd never be
one of those girls to get knocked up in high school and now I just might be what I
thought I'd never be....It really gives you a different perspective on them. Like its
really not their fault, because if it was up to them, they wouldn't be having a baby.
But its different if the girl is sleeping around with a million guys and isn't using
protection. But I wasn't sleeping around with a million guys, it was my boyfriend,
and it was my first time....I don't know what to do, I don't know who to talk to
because every time I try and talk about it I get all choked up and scared.....I need
advice, someone to talk to who knows what I'm going through....courage,
strength....Him.

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