This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
|Asexual, pansexual, apansexual?||Category: (general)|
Saturday, 16 January 2010
02:53:17 PM (GMT)
My mom is an english teacher and she doesn't know, so I'm asking the internet at
What's it called if I am not sexually attracted to males or females, but fall
in love with people of both genders?
The mere concept of sex repulses me, actually.
For a year and a half I had a boyfriend, and I loved my boyfriend, but the idea of
having sex with him never crossed my mind.
Now I have a girlfriend, and I love her very much, but that doesn't mean I want to
feel her up or anything. That just seems... Totally disrespectful! I love her because
she's a wonderful person, what she has between her legs or on her chest doesn't even
come into the equation. (She's very pretty, but so are my friends, and I don't want
to have sex with them either!)
Asexuality means not sexually attracted to either gender.
Pansexuality means not caring about gender.
But there's no word for a person who doesn't want sex and doesn't care about
Why does everyone try and lump love and sex together? Why is it that dating a girl
means that I'm "exploring my sexuality"?
And to be clear, my girlfriend has not tried to pressure me into it, the topic hasn't
even come up (thank God). She and I talk about global politects, and obscure
factoids, and philosophy, and art, and we joke about all of those things. And we do
hold hands and hug, and hopefully when we've been going out for a little longer we'll
kiss. It isn't intamacy that grosses me out.
But chances are that at some point in my life, I will have to explain to someone who
means a lot to me that I really do love them, sex just happens to be gross, and when
that happens I'd really like a word for it.
Anyone know one? A term for complete disinterest in sex, but romantic regardless of
Afternote: Also, please stop leaving comments saying that I think sex is
disgusting because I'm young/ a virgin. I've always thought eating dog shit is a
disgusting concept too, but I've never actually tried it, and I don't plan to.
Last edited: 17 January 2010
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