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This diary entry is written by justbreathee. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: you know what? in category (general)

171109.Category: (general)
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
05:35:35 PM (GMT)
i sat on the beach with him today, and when i happened to look up, the sun
was shining, and the sky was blue, and i saw a huge flock of birds flying south for
winter. i envied them. they get to leave whenever they want. it's so easy. i wish it
was as easy for me to pack up and go. i know my time will come for my fresh start, it
just doesn't seem soon enough. i know i'll get out of here sooner or later, but i
don't want it to be later. i like the big city life. i like the trains, and the
familiarity, and the way i can call beverley home. i love everything about it. most
of you reading this have probably never been there, so you wouldn't know. but you
know how we all have our heaven? that place is mine. it's everything i love. i love
every side street, and every saturday market, and every christmas season there. i
love the cobbles and the old town centre. it's beautiful. it's perfection. and this
small city is suffocating me. i hate everything about it. aside from the beach, it's
ugly. it's awful. every single day i try and find a good reason to be here, but there
honestly isn't one. i'm sick of it. it's so boring. the whole place is shitty. you
have no idea. living in a city that you can cross in a half hour is like living in a
cage. if you told me i was to stay here forever, you may aswell lock me in and throw
away the key. you can never escape anything here. i want out. i want rid of the
people, and the rumors, and the deception, and the lies. i want to go back to the
place that's ever felt like home. because england, for me, is perfect. beverley is
bliss. if nothing else, i need out of this house, and the tension, and the arguing
and bad feelings. i can't be bothered to sit here and take it anymore. i'd rather
live somewhere i love and with people i love. i'd rather be closer to harriet, and
georgina, and marcus, and elle, and conor, and tyler. any of them. they're better
people than most here. i know how huge the difference is, and i want to be in the
better place. i want to get there and find ruby glow. even buttercup. i want the new
things. i want the fresh start with the better people. i'll get there one day. i'll
find my own way. in any case, i'm on my way.
Last edited: 17 November 2009

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