Thursday, 29 January 2009
09:47:47 PM (GMT)
Our charismatic leader and bass-playing lethargio decided to head south to Mexico
for a little sun, warm tequila and cheap senoritas. However, when his money ran out,
he gets caught red-handed slipping dud cheques to the 'Tijuana Brass' down at the
local brothel . Murdoc was thrown in jail. As Murdoc soon learnt... 'YOU NEVER STIFF
A WHORE IN MEXICO!'
Murdoc bides his time in jail usefully, or so he thinks, by taking a Mexican Open
UNiversity course in the 'Amateur Administration or of Pharmaceutical Medicines'.
Christ! Really? 'Dr.Murdoc'?! 'Legally entitled to experiment on monkeys'!?! No!!
However, when some of the inmates took a shine to him, Murdoc has to male some new
friends. Fast. Murdoc the 'Mexican Arse-Bandito?' Not a good look. Enter Pedro
'Shitbag' Lapetzo and Carlos Benito. These two greasy bastards not only stopped
Murdoc becoming the prison 'bike', they also taught him a little 'Mexican Black
Magic'. So he owes them plenty. 'Eh? My Friend!'
Whilst languishing in the slammer Murdoc makes a friend of the feathered variety.
'Cortez the Raven' used to bring Murdoc little berries stright to the prison window.
(Causing him to suffer the worst prison stomach bug known to man, but whatever). None
of the other inmates would even look at the raven, a 'Jailbird' with a chilling
reputation. Legend has it that the creature was 'born in the folds of the Grim
Reaper's cloack'. And his f**cking squawk sounds like some idiot letting off a fire
alarm in a library.
TIME'S UP! After eighteen months and eighteen months and some pretty lengthy
negotiations held in Murdoc’s new offices… er.. the prison showers, our legendary
Gorillaz superstar decided enough was enough. With no sign of parole in sight Murdoc
decides to get himself bust out of jail! EMI want a new album and Murdoc wasnts his
new advance! After one more lightning visit to 'The Chicken Choker', Murdoc was on a
plane back to the belly of his beloved Kong Studios! Of course with his Raven and new
Mexican pals in tow, ready to shake their stupid maracas all over the new record.
With his bad boy credentials now complete, arthritic booze-monkey Murdoc has attained
an even higher level of repulsiveness.
Look out softies! Murdoc's back... with an even bigger ballsack! Lock your drinks
cabinet and hide your daughters! Murdoc’s back, folks… and he’s really