Thursday, 20 November 2008
12:11:46 AM (GMT)
I have taken many online personality disorder tests. Yeah I didn't trust them for
s**t even when I agreed with a particular disorder. My friend and I were just taking
them for fun. But then we found one that you had to pay for because it was created by
licensed therapists and such. My friend charged his card and we both took the test
and again I got this certain disorder I had agreed with. It was kinda funny. Paranoia
was the disorder every online disorder test tells me I have and to a degree, I agree.
I dont think I ahve anything sevear of course but I admit to constantly formulating
plans in my head to protect myself from even my most charished friends and family. I
jump on gaurd in my head and ponder what even someone I love has said. People get
together and make plans, talk, hang out, but I cant seem to fully trust any of them.
You say you want me and my head instantly wonders if its true, or if your just
planning something else.
You say you love me and my mind screams that your lieing, that your going to hurt
You say I'm perfect and my thoughts say your just spinning pretty words because you
want something from me
These thoughts that come and go, I don't trust them or care for them and I always try
my hardest to ignore them completely. But then there are times when they are right
and I begin to doubt what I know is true.
Paranoia.... hmph, I wonder how many times a day people lie to thier beloveds....
there are two I never lie too.... but my mind insists that they lie to me.