Friday, 9 May 2008
11:27:32 AM (GMT)
Only for now...
I leaned over the side of the railing, staring at the water, and shading my eyes as
we sped through the long island sound. It was, once again, spring break, and
deciding to take a break from the impossibly muggy weather of sweet and sunny
Florida, I had purchased a first class, one way plane ticket to New York city.
“You’re not thinking of jumping over are you?” Came a voice from behind Me. My
parent’s had insisted that I take Joshua with me, certain that I would make another
attempt at killing myself. It had been two years ago, that I locked myself in my
room and attempted to hang myself…clearly it hadn’t worked, for the rope I had chosen
had snapped, I had broken both my jaw and wrist in the fall, spent four months in
rehab, and had never been given any real privacy after that.
Josh, an old school friend and soon to be step-brother. His Christian name is
Joshua, but he hates that, so everyone just calls him josh. His auburn hair blowing
slightly in the wind, and navy-blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight, A god in
comparison to my own limp cream colored hair, and dark chocolate eyes.
“No George dear, I am not thinking of sending my self to a cold and watery grave,”
I said, turning around with fire in my eyes. Though I loved him like the brother he
was soon to become, I hated how he was always so over-protective, how he blamed him
self that my attempted suicide was his fault, how he thought that his entrance into
my life was what finally drove me over the edge. “I merely thought that I had seen
an un-discovered species of fish, and had to lean extremely for out over the railing
to check, that’s all.” I said, patting his shoulder as I walked below deck of our
rented sped boat.
“Ana, I won’t get up in your face on this trip, but please, just promise you won’t
try to kill your self. Please?” he whispered in my ear after catching up to me as I
stood over the sink in the small bathroom, washing the sunscreen from under my neatly
“I’ll try not to,” I said sincerely, and I meant it to. “I’ll try my very, very