Part 2 Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by bird_man_jr. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Part 1 in category British Jokes

Part 2Category: British Jokes
Thursday, 12 April 2007
01:49:10 PM (GMT)

A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why?

He was already dead!


A Scottish farmer was in his field digging up his tatties (a Scots word for
potatoes). An American farmer looked over the fence and said
"In Texas we grow potatoes 5 times larger than that!"

The Scotsman replied " Ah but we just grow them for our own mouths!"


1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?

2nd Eskimo: Alaska

1st Eskimo: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself!


Charles was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife," Hurry up or we'll be
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't I been telling you for the last hour that
I'll be ready in a minute?"


Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only
purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled
into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he
knocked and called"Tickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the
door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots
came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the
Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this
themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not
purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came
through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the
other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called
"Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and
quickly closed the door


Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares!


An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark
road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the
road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both
destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for
the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and
fetches a 12 year old bottle of whisky. He hands the bottle to the Irish man, whom
exclaims,'' may the Irish and the English live together forever, in peace, and
harmony.'' The Irish man then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down.
Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the
Englishman, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here!''


Thesportygirl100 says:   12 April 2007   657839  
OH good when I Saw this I thought u were makign fun of british peopl
Because My family is
BexGangster says :   14 April 2007   567815  
hey i thought this diary woz hilarious
i absolutely luv it!
thx 4 being so funny!


Related Entries
Cyanide_kills: With Life Comes Death
Cyanide_kills: Shot with a gun. In the back of the head. With nothing left to do but die. Poems
BokenFeather: Pain... Emo-ness...
Cyanide_kills: Enriched Plasic and under the knife.........for real
Green_Buddy: My Dead Soul Poem

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012