Sunday, 18 May 2014
01:48:20 AM (GMT)
Yes, I'm 35 weeks as of yesterday. And oh what a joy it is! Heavy sarcasm there. By
the end of this week, my son will be around 42-45cm long and weigh about 2.5-3kg.
Looking forward to the next clinic appointment; we get to hear the heartbeat again.
Its so strong now, it can he seen through my abdomen. His kicks and punches and
elbows have lessened, but have become even more painful. The pains in the lower
pelvis are a major joy! Got to love the feeling of having metaphorical planks of wood
slammed on your lower back and belly at the same time! Still with the heavy sarcasm
here. There is also this little STINGING pain that shoots through your pubic area and
can be so painful that it immobilises you momentarily. Try grocery shopping with
something like that happening to you; including all the people around you thinking
you're going into actual labour. Even going toilet time is gone down the shitter
these days. If you thought going to pee twenty times a day was bad before; think
again! Increasing pressure along the bladder makes it feel like you really need to
pee- and you get there and its like, "No way! Gonna give you pain instead!" And then
it whacks you with the invisible wood planks again.
Two things everyone always says about pregnancy;
1) Its a beautiful thing that makes a woman glow and full of happiness.
2) Everything is easier after the first 3 months.
Let me give you all some advice about pregnancy:-
IT IS NOT A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!!! You get fat, your boobs get bigger and rounder and
heavier. Just like you! You DO NOT glow with happiness. You get cranky, tired and
irritated at the smallest things by the time you are 5 months along. The only thing
you want to do is sleep and eat and do nothing all day. And sleeping is the worst
when you have a small elbow or foot digging into either the mattress, your ribs or
even both at the same time.
The first 3 months are the EASIEST!!! All you have to worry about is if you get a
little morning sickness - that can come at any god damned time of the day!!! - and a
few blood tests. At 4 months, you start to show, so here comes a whole new wardrobe.
At 5 months, new shoes are in order because of the excess weight you carry around. At
6 months, your have to get new underwear so your boobs get used to the maternity
bras. 7 months brings with it all the violent mood swings and sickness and headaches
- and pains- of getting your period. But for the ENTIRE MONTH. At 8 months, all you
want to do is lie down and sleep or just read a book. Also, by this time, everyone
you know, even complete strangers, will want to ask you all types of questions and
rub your belly to try and feel the baby kick. Trust me, this is not a great feeling.
When some strange lady shuffles up to you in the shopping aisle and asks you how long
you have left and "compliments" you on how big you are; it is the most uncomfortable
thing in the world. Even when you are at home and someone reminds you that you HAVE
to wear pants- that's also uncomfortable. Having someone you don't even know put
their hand on your belly, who isn't a doctor or midwife, is also annoying. Someone
saying you're beautiful and glowing can go either way for them. Something WILL be
thrown at them -- lest it be a smile or a fist.
Such a joy. Well, only a few weeks left.