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This diary entry is written by ‹ThineRiddler›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: The Day I Died. in category (general)

I'm Doing It Again...Category: (general)
Friday, 11 November 2011
10:37:57 PM (GMT)
  Sorry, I'm in a depressed mood and I need to let my feelings out.

So, this is what has been going on my whole life. 
Whenever I get close to someone, I push them away.
It's nothing on them. They never did anything wrong.
It's just me. I can't seem to stay a friend to anyone. 
When I get close to someone, I push them away.
I'm afraid. Afraid that it will happen all over again. Where everyone left me.
I have Philophobia. So, when I get close to friends that are guys...
I just push them away. Afraid that something might happen.
I don't know what I am so scared about. But, I have been this way my whole life.
It might not seem like it, but it sucks. I wish I could just have a friend and be
But, I can't. My mind and heart are fucking with me, making sure I can't have any
Maybe it's just better if I just stay home and not go outside.
GAH. This sucks. :/

Sorry, I don't mean to be all depressed on you guys. I just had to get it out. I
don't even know if this makes any sense.
If anyone can help me get over this, that would be awesome.

broken_into_hearts says:   11 November 2011   406079  
dont listion to haters. If you want a friend then you have seen the
account just send me a message, i am willing to be there for you.
‹The Lark› says:   12 November 2011   346223  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you mentioned you have a fear of
abandonment (possibly from an experience you've had.)
I think the first step would be to overcome that fear and any other
things that you feel is preventing you from trusting others.

Like the previous comment, you can talk to me. I don't have much
advice to give usually, but I can listen, if you want.
Xima writes:   17 November 2011   557670  
Don't sweat, we all have our depressing days! Cheer up, your real friends will always be there for you, whether you do or don't push them away. All they want to do is make you happy and they can help you get over the fear. (: Instead of pushing them away, work a way around them so you won't feel uncomfortable? Not sure if this helps, but I hope you feel better!
‹ThineRiddler› says :   18 November 2011   979672  
LULU! You are the sweetest. If I am ever acting like an ass to you or
anyone, smack me across the head as hard as you can. I give you

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