Thursday, 27 May 2010
10:33:01 PM (GMT)
So for about a year or so, especially in light of an incident that happened, eh,
today, I've been thinking about getting therapy. You know, like a therapist.
Sometimes I feel depressed. Actually I feel that way a lot of the time, but that's
not why I want therapy. (I figure every teenager is pretty much ANGST SADNESS OMG
DEATH these days, including myself, so I kinda disregard that depression bullshit -
besides I'm a spoiled bitch, I'm the last person that needs to be depressed.)
I'm kind of a social anxiety maniac. I didn't want bullshit my way into a
self-diagnosis just yet, but for the past three goddamn years, I've kind of
gotten...eh, worse. Just today I gave up the opportunity to get extra credit for
something I'D ALREADY DONE, just because I didn't want to present. Like, I had the
extra cred project fucking done, I just didn't want to get up and talk. And I
know lots of people have public speaking problems, but it's not just in front of
groups. One-on-one conversations, with anybody, face-to-face, I just can't stand.
I avoid going out to do simple things (for example, get a haircut), because I know
I'll have to talk to people I don't know, and that's just too fucking much. I've
developed a complete phone-phobia, I could be talking to my mom on the other line and
still be completely uncomfortable. Worst of all, I turn down invites from my best
friends to hang out and shit, EVEN WHEN I WANT TO. It seems to have been getting
worse. If I lived by myself, I'd honestly probably never leave the house.
So my question, does this sound unhealthy and/or a worthy cause for concern?
/oh god rereading that, I sound fucking mental ;n;
It's just, I know I'm goddamn fortunate in life and everything and I feel guilty for
even thinking about therapy. My parents do enough for me, I don't want to
waste their money.
HAHA MAYBE I'M OVERREACTING 8D;;;;
Last edited: 29 May 2010