Monday, 21 December 2009
11:27:29 PM (GMT)
ughhh i don't understand!
he sneaks over, surprises me, acts like he wants us, tells me the only thing keeping
us from being together is pretty much my mom, but then barely talks to me. am i being
played again? have i just gone right back into his games?
ughhh ifuckinglovehim. does he NOT get that? i told him i wish he understood&he was
like "i do". man fuck that. no you don't. if you understood we'd be together, despite
what my mom says. either way "we are getting together" according to you so it just
doesn't make sense. how can you sit here&tell me you fucking love me&feed me all this
other shit but there are absolutly no actions to prove it. actions speak much louder
than words&actions can hurt alot worse. you don't see what your doing to me. &i don't
think you ever will. why in the hell do i keep going back? i shouldn't. i shoulda
been gone along time ago. but i keep going back. am i just too weak to walk away? or
too blind to see you don't care, despite what you say? i wish i knew. i wish you'd
open up&tell me the god to honest truth. what do i gotta do to get you to do that? is
there anything i can dot o get you to open up to me? if you haven't already seen, i'm
here. &i'm staying for who knows how long. i've stayed through all this. through the
lies, the games, cheating, lying, heartbreaks, smile, laughter, &confusing times.
i've stayed. i mighta left a few times, but i've always came back. i wish you
understood that im here for you. but you dont. how can i type all this up on here,
but can't tell you. wait i can, you just don't read it. &i can't tell you on the
phone because you never have time for me. then when i ask you, if you don't have time
for me now, how do i know you'll have time for me when we are together&you say trust?
yeah well i can't trust you on that one. because before we get together, is just as
important as when we are together. you tell me you love me&miss me. but you don't
mean it. at leastyou don't show it. i can't take it. why am i still here waiting on
you to change? it's never gonna happen.