Wednesday, 18 November 2009
02:00:12 PM (GMT)
Naono looked up from his oatmeal to see the aunts passing out thick, scary
looking packets of paper. The one that he had just received was flipped over on the
table in front of him. Around him, every other child was getting the same packet. The
younger kids were already eating theirs. Idiots.
Hesitantly, he reached out the flip his booklet over.
"No turning over your tests until I have read the instructions!" Barked Aunt Marge.
Naono whipped his hand back guiltily, but the old woman was glaring at Mana, not
him. Mana and Sera had seen fit to actually open the mystery packets and were
mouthing things like "What's this about?" and "You've got to be kidding me." to each
other. One of the Aunts ripped the packets out of their hands and slammed them onto
the table. BAM.
He snickered to himself and went back to his oatmeal. Yes, Mana and Sera got
good grades, and yes Mana could play the flute, but they were nearly as widely
disliked by the other kids as Naono, and they didn't have the Aunts on their
"Following a generous donation to our establishment, some hippie author has
asked you all to fill out a character evaluation test. She's looking for inspiration
for protaganists in a new book. Please answer honestly. Actually, I don't think she
cares how you answer, so long as you sound interesting. Put them in a pile over there
when you finish. Pencils are in this basket, and no matter how fun you think it'll
be, don't break them. You may begin as soon as you finish eating."
"So why couldn't we look at them before? I don't see how it makes a
difference." Someone piped up. Is it worth arguing about, kid? Shut up and take
the test. You're only causing trouble for yourself, Naono thought. He pushed his
bowl away and flipped over the test.
Protaganist Assesment- The next big story could be yours.
(First name only please, this will be anonymous.)
Pulling a pencil from behind his ear, Naono began to answer questions.
1) What gender are you?
Male. I'm not lying.
2) What is your age?
3) Do you want a hug?
Well, I mean, yeah but...
4) Do you have any bad habits?
In school, I only step on every other floor tile.
5) What is your favorite food?
Toast, I guess.
6) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
I don't really like ice cream.
7) Are you a virgin?
8] Have you killed anyone?
I'm against violence, so no. (But I might if it was out of self defence.)
9) Do you hate anyone?
Yes. There are some people who are just really stupidly cruel.
10) Do you have any secrets?
Yeah. I hate it when other kids get adopted, even though (or maybe because) it'll
make them happier.
11) What is your favorite season?
I like winter. The city looks better right after a good snow- The litter gets
burried and the smog floats away.
12) Who is your best friend(s)?
Well... The women who work here can be nice. And books are good companions.
13) What are your hobbies?
Photography, and looking things up on the internet.
14) What is your favorite drink?
Cola is good.
15) When is your birthday?
March first, according to the Aunts. They wouldn't let me actually see my birth
16) What's your zodiac sign?
Chinease or the other one? I'm a Pisces...
17) Are you nice or mean?
I like to think I'm nice, but there isn't much oppurtunity to be kind in NYC.
18] Are you social or shy?
Shy, I guess. People only cause me problems, and my life is hard enough.
19) What do you think of your parents?
I think they should have kept me.
20) What’s your weakness?
There are lots, actually. I cry a lot, and I'm easily embarressed, not to mention
being a light sleeper, and impulsive, plus I hold grudges for, like, ever, and I'm a
dreamer, or so I'm told, but I think I'm just very determined. I'm also a major
21) How long can you stay under water?
I can't swim.
22) Do you love someone?
I hope not. People like me don't need to rely on others like that.
23) Ever kissed anyone?
No. There's nobody I know who I'd like enough to kiss...
24) ...Of the same gender?
25) It's clear you're gay.
Hey!! The vest isn't my fault! I'm a guy, I'm telling you, a GUY! Just because I
look girly and don't date doesn't make me gay! And that's not even a question! Are
you just trying to provoc a reaction?! Add some angst to this book of yours? You're
lucky I'm even filling this out!
26) Anyone love you?
I'M AN ORPHAN. What does that tell you?
27) What’s your favorite color?
28] When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday. Some older guy tried to steal my camera, and I just broke down.
29) What's your nickname?
Some kids call me "Now", to annoy me.
30) Do you consider yourself a happy or a down person?
I live in New York and I'm an orphan. And I'm a teenager. Duh, I'm depressed.
Thank you for your time.
Naono flipped the test around. What the heck? Thirty totally random questions in
this huge packet? Aw, whatever. He chucked it towards the sloppy pile and went back
towards his room.
Pfft. All thoise questions about love. I wonder what Mana wrote...
Last edited: 18 November 2009