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This diary entry is written by ‹<3!!!!CamelsandOttersRock!!!!!<3›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Child Abuse. Let's stop it! in category (general)
You can also go directly to the previous entry in category Story of Randomness (please read!)

Chapter 1Category: Story of Randomness (please read!)
Saturday, 13 September 2008
12:01:00 AM (GMT)
"Janice!" I called out to my best friends from down the hall. She had moved to
another school last year, but wanted to come back so that she could graduate with
"Vanessa!!!!!!" she calles back, as she ran down the hall and gave me a big hug.
"I've missed you Jan!"
"Oh i know! That other school was weird, i was miserable! Everyone was mean to me!"

"Ahh, hun!" I gave her another hug. 
"So, are you in Mrs. McGuire's class too?"
"Uh huh! Aren't you excited for the math this year!? We're starting algebra!" 
"I'm more looking forward to the history, as I'm sure you'd know."
"Yah, i figured. Oh, did you hear about the french teacher?"
"Oh, yah. Didn't she get fired?"
"Yep. It's about time, huh?"
"Oh i know. She was awful! She couldn't even read!" The bell rang, just as Jan was
about to say something else. She still hadn't gotten her coat off, so she darted
down the hall to her locker. I chuckled at her as she fumbled with her coat
"It's just the warning bell you know. We still have 5 minutes."
"What!?" she yelled in an exasperated voice.
"You still have five mintues."
"Oh, thank god! I thought i was going to be late for class on my first day back!"
"Ah, Jan. you make me laugh."
We started to laugh, and couldn't stop until we got into our classroom. 

"All right class. We have a new student with us. Janice Kingson, could you please
stand up?" Janice stood up and smiled nervously. 
"Where are you from Janice?" asked Mrs. McGuire. 
"Um... I live here in Alora, I just went to another school last year. But, this year,
i wanted to graduate with everyone here."
"Well, we're glad to have you Janice. I hope you enjoy it back."
"Thanks." Janice sat back down. She looked really embarrased. 
"Okay then. Let's get started on our math lesson." 
I let out a small "Yes." Janice looked at me with a half amused, half disgusted look.
She used to always give me that look. I guess I'm gonna start getting it again.

"Ugh!!! That was hard!" Janice complained as we filed to our lockers for our science
"No it wasn't! It was just algebra! How could you think that was hard?"

sorry everyone, my dad is making me get off. I'll finish later! Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Practial_Nostalgia says:   13 September 2008   782244  
Buddy12072007 says:   13 September 2008   522247  
Why is your dad making you get off?Do you have a mom?
MassDestruction says:   13 September 2008   978851  
You should make them talk like actually kids.
"She was awful!"
Would you say that?
Well.. you might, 'cause it's you, but most kids would say, "She
There's also too much dialog. Spend some time describing the venue.
‹<3!!!!CamelsandOttersRock!!!!!<3› writes:   13 September 2008   193794  
Um... Practucal: Thanks....?
Buddy: Yah, but my mom was busy, and my dad made me get off, cause i
asked him to put on this movie, and then i wasn't watching it. 
MassDestruction: all right. I'll remember that for the next chapter!
tiggerlemon101 says:   16 September 2008   824558  
Okay, There is a bit too much dialogue compared to the rest of the
story, but don't eliminate dialogue, or else it will be too short. 
Whenever Nicole says something, refer back to me, elohel!  One thing
that I find even with my own writing that I absolutely hate it that it
goes in chunks... four paragraphs of description, three of dialogue...
a long bit of description, a long bit of dialogue... a few lines of
description, a few of dialogue... like that.  So just be careful not
to start doing that, cause I do it, and I can't stand it!
tiggerlemon101 says:   16 September 2008   757788  
Also, did you mean to end it there?  If you have to get off, do what
I do: copy your work (ctrl+c at the same time), then paste it (ctrl+v)
when you get back on.  Cause the chapters are kind of short.  But very
good, either way! 
‹<3!!!!CamelsandOttersRock!!!!!<3› says :   17 September 2008   634456  
all right, i'll try not to do that. 
And, no , i didn't want it to end there. also, i know the chapters are
short, but it's better than super long!


Next entry: Chapter 2 in category Story of Randomness (please read!)
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