Mmkai. It's official. I'm SICK of myself. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by Camilleh. ( View all entries )
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Mmkai. It's official. I'm SICK of myself.Category: Low Self Esteem D:
Thursday, 6 December 2007
08:24:32 PM (GMT)
I just want to fade away at this point. 
Or go for a walk and get hit by a semi.
Either one. 
But seriously.
I am not loved.
I am not pretty.
I'm not even fuckin' happy that way like some. 
Just about everything on me is unattractive.
I'm too fat.
My eyes aren't shaped right
The shape of my face is bad
I'm too tall
My hair is the crappiest ever
My complexion is ugly
My lips are too dark
My teeth aren't white enough
The list could go on and on.
What proof do I have that I'm worth anything?
No friends. Often the wall flower at any place.
And now i have been forced into talking to this stupid-ass therapist because my mom
doesn't want to deal with me.

God, I don't care anymore. I've already stopped trying.
No, I'm not some bitch who hates the world.
I can love people, too. :]
And typically I'm not even bitchy.
Just now.

xcowxkissesx says:   6 December 2007   376215  
Aw, camille. I think you're perfect. <3 I love you loads, and i think
youre worth alot. You dont have to talk to that stupid therapist, you
have me to make you feel bettarr :3
Camilleh says:   6 December 2007   285953  
Thank you Claire :]
ily<3333 a lot <3
But still,
that doesn't make me pretty or nice or anything.
I still hate just looking in the mirror.
Miboki says:   6 December 2007   146991  
We all love you *hugs*
That therapist sounds really annoying..I wanna kill them!
I don't like the way I look, either, but I know one day people are
gonna get taller than me ( for once ) and I won't feel all tall an'
You has all of us now...~
‹ÜFER SURE . BETCHÜ› says:   6 December 2007   189356  
Camille! Dx You shouldn't say those things. Everyone's perfect in
their own way, they just have to find the means to let it out. And
you're such a great person! Shall I MAKE a list? -_-

1. Your ARE pretty
2. ALOT of people love you
3. You're obviously great with people
4. You're incredibly nice
5. You have a one of a kind personality

You're perfect just the way you are ^^
Camilleh says:   7 December 2007   579756  
than yew ppl<33
The list wasn't necessary Scottie,
but still, rly you are aweshum.
&& Miboki, A Claire and all my friendsies! :D
But however I can't really take what you say and make myself believe
There's still that mirror in the bathroom.
And there's still the loneliness I must face.
But at least I feel appreciated ^^
xThexGhostxOfxYoux says:   7 December 2007   725378  
You Have This All Wrong <//3
You're Beautiful!
Don'tt tell me i'm wrong, 'cos i've seen a picture.
And i would kill to look like you.
You're fxcking gorgeous!
Look how many people love you honey.
Don't stop trying. Please?
I want to fade away too.
I hate what i see in the mirror.
I'm one fxcking million times uglier than you will ever be ._.
You don't have to face the loneliness.
You'll never be alone. Kay?
And if i have to come all the way to wherever you live just to stop
you getting hit by a semi then i will, mmkay?
ILY <33
Camilleh says:   7 December 2007   568196  
You must stop saying such things...
You saw meh picshurr-
It wasn't one of my best, but even in my good ones I don't like
But okaii-
I won't stop trying. Yet.
I -should- not be afraid to keep on living.
But the idea of walking the world alone has never appealed to me. :[
‹Mentality› says:   8 December 2007   168197  
But Camille! You're beautiful! 

And hey, at least you don't have like, a disease, so even if you could
go near other people, everyone would avoid you. I feel sorry for those

Camilleh says :   9 December 2007   747475  
Aiia you're right :]
1. I am in good physical health
2. I will keep living 
3. I will keep talking <3

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