Wednesday, 4 July 2007
12:42:04 AM (GMT)
HEY GUYS WARNING U NOW this one is kinda long so yeah
I was at Jonathan's grave again, the air was cold and misty, I couldn't see anything.
I felt lost.
I could hear Jonathan whisper goodbye in my ear, I knelt on his grave screaming
"Jonathan please don't go...I need you, I need you to save me from this world,
I waited for a reply...Nothing.
I began to sob uncontrollably, taking in short breaths each time a tear worked it's
way down my face.
Nothing could save me now, I felt unwanted here & in the afterlife.
"Don't worry i'm here for you," said a voice from behind me.
I turned to see a figure walking towards me.
"Who are you?" I asked curious of why this person or he would be standing in a misty
Cemetery but then again who am I to talk.
The figure, leaned forward towards me and kissed my lips softly. His kiss was
soothing as was his voice, I felt safe again, like when I was with Jonathan.
He returned to his position where he was standing above me. He reached out his hand
for me to take,
"Come with me and you will be safe," He proclaimed as I took his hand and he pulled
"But who are you?" I asked again, now trying to see his face.
All I could see was his deep hazel eyes staring intensely into mine.
"I'm....F.... RING!! RING RING!!
"Huh?" I said confused as looked down to see I was sitting up in my bed.
I looked around to see that I wasn't in the cemetery I was in my bedroom, it had all
been a dream.
I focused my attention to what caused me to wake up, the phone.
I looked at it on my side table for a while, then i picked it up.
"Hello?" I said in a somewhat shook voice.
"Hey ya, Mel!!! It's me, your wake up call!!" Jessica screamed from the other end.
"Jess, it's 6:30am, It's too early, I don't wanna go to school today," I moaned down
the phone, rubbing my eyes.
She sighed, "Get you ass up, get changed and meet me at school...& Mel?"
"Yes, Jessica?" I said with no emotion.
"That's a Fucking order!!!!" She shouted down the phone before hanging up on me.
"She should really stop watching those boot camp, videos," I said to myself as I
stretched, placed the phone down and slowly got out of my bed.
The floor boards were as cold as ice, but it didn't affect me, as I was still shook
by the dream I just emerged from.
I walked to my desk table and picked up my school uniform and placed it on my untidy
I was never a morning person, even when I use to go to school, Id always have a
moment of cursing and whining at my dad or Jessica for waking me up.
But i was more scared then Cranky this morning.
I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, something i hardly ever
I hated my reflection, I hated myself but Jonathan always reassured me that i was
special, beautiful and unique.
Now I was back to the self hating, maybe not so much as to cut myself again, but who
knows what the future will bring.
It's already brought me, Death, pain & Heart ache, what more is there.
After 20 minutes of telling myself to 'pull it together' and 15 minutes of silent
showering, I made my way back to my room.
Everything was mainly the same apart from my bed that was neatly fixed and my uniform
that had been placed in the center of my bed with a $20 Dollar bill attached to newly
I put my uniform on and pulled up my stockings and finally adjusted my silver buckled
I pulled my rucksack over one shoulder and tucked the $20 dollar bill in my blazer
pocket, then proceeded down stairs to meet my Dad in the kitchen.
"Hey, Honey," My dad greeted me as I walked into the kitchen.
"Morning dad," I replied kissing him on the cheek and grabbing an apple from the
My dad was making some homemade orange juice, which obviously he was having trouble
with since it was all over the floor.
"Dad, do you need some help?" I asked trying not to giggle
"No honey, i'm fine you just head off to school," He said focusing on the stubborn
orange in front of him.
"Ok dad, i'll see you later," I said hugging him and then heading out of the door.
"Melissa, wait?" My dad called me back.
"Yeah, dad?" I asked walking back into the kitchen.
He shuffled his hand into his trouser pocket and pulled out a $10 dollar bill.
"Here, take this," He said placing the $10 dollar bill in my hand.
"Dad, i can't plus you already gave $20 dollars & a new blazer!" I said handing back
"No take it, you know how you get when you eat, you eat like a pig!" He joked shoving
the $10 dollar bill into my pocket along with the $20.
"Dad, that's horribleI'll see you later!" I giggled kissing him on the cheek and
walking towards the front door.
"Bye sweetie!" He called as I shut the door behind me.
It was the usual morning; I laugh with dad while he tries to juice fruits. Although I
seemed happy trust me I wasn't.
"Oh my gosh...MELISSA!!!!" Jessica screamed as she ran towards me, picking me up and
twirling me around.
"God, Woman put me down!" I screamed trying not to blow chunks all over her neat
"Sorry, I just kinda got over excited!!" She said placing me back on my feet.
"I kinda got that!" I said adjusting my uniform.
We started to walk to my locker as she had no idea of what to say next and absolutely
no way I was going to stand there and wait for her to twirl me around again.
"So how are you?" Jessica finally spoke up as we reached my locker.
"Ok I guess, but I feel like people are watching me," I replied as I searched through
"Why wouldn't they, girl your looking hot!!" Jessica said nudging me in the arm.
"Thanks but that's not what I meant," I said turning to her.
She quite puzzled for a while then mouthed 'Jonathan' before pointing to my locker
I nodded then looked to where she was pointing. My locker still had a picture of
Jonathan attached to the inside.
I looked at it and ran my fingers other Jonathan face, let a small tear fall.
"I guess you haven't had time to clean out your locker," Jessica said placing her
hand on my shoulder.
"Nope...I guess I should start with these," I said wiping the stray tear off my face
and removing all the pictures of Jonathan.
"I think you should start with that!" Jessica screeched pointing at the green moldy
"Ewwwww!!!!!" We screamed as I picked it up with my finger tips and threw it in the
I looked at the pictures I still had in my hand,
"Are you sure?" Jessica asked as we stared at the bin.
"I'm sure," I replied looking away from the bin and dropping the pictures in.
Jessica sighed and we returned back to my locker. I shut it then we walked down the
"What's been happening in this hell hole, while I was stuck in my own death trap!" I
asked sparking an interesting conversation.
"Nothing really, Morgan turned Bitch whore!"
"But wasn't she a Whore before?"
"Yeah but she wasn't so bitching about it!!"
"Ummmm...Me & Nate are over?"
"Really you guys were so cute together, what happened?"
"Well, we're not exactly over we're just taking a break cause of....you know,"
"Oh...Me & Jonathan,"
"Yeah...Anyway I got to know some really cool guys while you weren't here!"
"Well you know that guy with the long black hair and hazel eyes, well I think their
hazel but i'm not quite sure,"
"What the one in my Physics class that said he would like to suck blood from an
innocent young girl?"
"Ummmm yeah I got to know him and his brother Mikey!"
"Is Mikey the one that dropped his inhaler in my acid solution in biology?"
"That's the one!"
We managed to get all the way to the end of the hall without bumping into anyone,
which if memory serves correctly that's how I met Jonathan.
"I'll introduce you to them later or tomorrow, just tell me when," Jessica said
stopping before the east staircase.
I nodded then looked around at the mindless zombie students that passed us.
"Shit that's the bell i'm off to Music class!" I said walking up the staircase.
"Ok see ya at Lunch!" Jessica shouted up the stairs.
The was going ok, I could feel eyes watching me and hear people talking, gossiping.
Apparently, i'm a witch and I seduced Jonathan and told him to kill himself, or so
I weren't going to let them break me, they always tried to break me and they nearly
They broke Jonathan but they are not going to break me as long as I know that I have
my dad & Jessica.
I was now heading to the Cafeteria to meet Jessica and probably her new friends.
I walked into the Cafeteria and Jessica grabbed me and pulled me to the side.
"Ok what was that about?" I asked staring at her widely smiling face.
"The guys are sitting over there, the one with the glasses is Mikey and the other is
Gerard," Jessica said trying to whisper quietly.
"Gerard's cute!" I said randomly
"Did just say that? No I didn't!" I said trying to reason with her and myself.
"Yes you did, come with me and sit with us!" Jessica whispered to me.
Before I answered we saw Gerard and Mikey looking at us from their table.
I waved and Jessica nudged me,
"Owww!! What was that for?"
"You were Flirting!!"
"No I wasn't I was being friendly!"
"Yeah whatever...So are you going to sit with us?" Jessica asked hoping for a
"Ok but I got to drop this stuff in my locker!" I said as I raised my books in front
She smiled and gave a little giggle and hugged tight. I think she's more excited by
sitting with Gerard then me sitting with her, Oh well.
I walked out of the Cafeteria towards my locker. When I got to my locker I was
greeted by the most over drowned perfume smell.
I tried to ignore the person standing next to my locker, while I placed my books
inside my locker.
"Well, where have you been, Medusa?" Said Morgan, leaning in towards me with her
cheap blonde highlights.
"At home, Morgan!" I said placing a fake smile on my face as I shuffled through my
"Oh yeah, I heard about that, people are say that your a witch and you told poor
Jonathan to shoot himself," she explained with a her high tone fake voice.
I just blanked her out and continued to rummage through my locker.
"But I personally don't think that true!" She said surprising me.
I shut my locker door and stared her in the eye, "So exactly do you think, Morgan?"
"I think that he didn't shoot himself!"
"Really?" I said questioning her answer.
"I think you did!" She said with an evil smirk.
She it a nerve with that answer I plucked up my courage and replied to her, "Whatever
Morgan you don't know anything!"
"Oh yeah, I know you killed and you liked it!" She shouted.
I couldn't take it I had to run, i'm not going to let her do this not again, not
"See, youre running because I know the truth about u!" Morgan was still shouting down
the hall but I was running, trying not to listen.
I accidentally bumped into Jessica who had stepped out of the Cafeteria to look for
"WOAH!!! You nearly killed me....Mel what's wrong?" Jessica said noticing that tears
of hurt that were falling down my face.
"Nothing, I just don't feel well," I tried to lie; Jessica was obviously not
Jessica looked pass me to see Morgan still hurl insults at me, Jessica looked back at
me, then shook her head.
"What did, Morgan say?" She said holding me still to stop me shaking.
"Nothing, I can't do this I need to go!" I said pushing Jessica out of my way and
running through the school doors.
"Melissa!!" Jessica called to me, but I weren't listening, I didn't want to.
I ran to the only place I knew no one would go, the Cemetery.
I ran to Jonathan grave and kneeled before his grave stone.
"Why didn't I just shoot, Jonathan? Why did you have to leave me? Why couldn't I be
with?" I shouted at his grave stone.
I continued the let my tears fall, I then buried my head in my hands and cried my
"Are you ok?" A voice said from behind me.
at first I thought I was hearing things but then the smell of smoke filled my lungs
and I turned around.
Before me stood a boy, a short boy taller than me, smoking a cigarette and looking at
His appearance was non-familiar but his hazel eyes struck me, they looked oddly
"Are you ok?" He asked again.
"Yeah, i'm fine!" I sniffed, wiping the tears of my face and standing up to fix my
"Why are you here?" I asked him looking him up and done before fixing my eyes upon
"I could ask you the same thing!" He smiled at me and flicked the ash on the floor.
"I just wanted to visit the grave yard, for inspiration, you?"
"To visit someone," I said not revealing why I was screaming and crying my eyes out.
"So...what's with the school uni?" He asked eyeing in a perverted way.
"I go to school, duh?" I said stating the obvious.
He smiled and offered me a cigarette from his almost empty pack. I took one with a
hesitation; God knows I really needed it.
He pulled out his lighter and lit my cigarette, I took a deep drag and breathed out
slowly, the nicotine soothed me as did this boy's presence.
"I can tell you not the popular bitching type, I hate them!" The boy said taking a
drag then focusing back on me.
"Sometimes I pity them, but then I know it's not worth it at all," I said flicking
the ash from my cigarette on the floor.
He smiled and stamped out his cigarette and extended his hand, "I'm Frank, I hate
Bitchy girls, jocks and I'm single!"
"I'm Melissa; I also hate bitchy girls, jocks. I was with someone but he's no longer
here," I said shaking his hand and looking to Jonathan's grave.
Frank understood what I meant he wanted to say sorry, but thought it was unnecessary
and only brings me down.
I smiled at Frank and we sat down near Jonathan's grave.
It was now dark and misty in the Cemetery, Frank & I had been talking constantly
about, music, hobbies and how fucked up out lives were.
Frank didn't ask me about Jonathan, or what happened to him, which was good for me
cause I didn't feel I could talk about him.
"No way, youre in a band?" I asked outing my cigarette. I had 4 or 5 during our
"Yeah, were called My Chemical Romance, it's me and 4 other guys!" He said flicking
his cigarette bud to the side.
"That's cool, so what do you play?" I asked in a more happy tone.
"I play rhythm Guitar and sing backing vocals," He said looking at me as I stretched
out my legs.
"Cool, i'm soooo not good at singing!" I said shaking my head and looking down at the
Grass we sat on.
"Nah, I bet you can, you have a nice voice," He said nudging me a little and making
"No I soo can't!" I replied trying to get him to drop the subject.
"Come on, sing for me I promise I won't laugh and i'll tell you if you good or not,"
Frank said smiling at me sweetly.
"Ok but promise not to laugh, okay?"
Frank took my hand in his and placed them on his heart, "I Promise,"
I began to sing the first song that popped into my head, amazingly it was Evanescence
'Bring me back to life'.
"Melissa, that was Awesome, you have a beautiful voice," Frank screeched, clapping
and Praising me.
"Really?" I asked confused slightly.
"Yes really, your Fucking Amazing!!!" He said trying to calm himself down.
"Wow, no one ever said that before, well apart from my dad and my mom, Jessica and
Jonathan," My voice went timid after mentioning Jonathans name.
Frank looked at me, I could see he wanted to say something but he knew it might set
The sky was pitch black and the moon shone on Jonathan grave stone almost bring it to
"What time is?" I asked Frank breaking our pitiful silence.
"Ummmm...8 or 9pm, I think?"
"Geessse, I better get home before my dad does," I said standing up dusting myself
off and pulling down the back of my skirt.
"Yeah I got to get going to, Band practice and all!" Frank replied dusty himself off
and walking to the Cemetery gates with me.
"Well, see ya round!" I said extending my hand in which he took and shook it.
"Yeah see you round!" He said smiling at me and walking the opposite direction from
where I was headed.
Began to walk down the street alone, like I did on Friday, but something inside of me
I didn't feel alone anymore.
I couldn't help but wonder, if Frank was the one from my dream, who was suppose to
If he is then God has blessed me.