Death is a beautiful thing. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by Vilenvile. ( View all entries )

Death is a beautiful thing.Category: love
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
10:06:40 PM (GMT)
I slowly run the knife across my neck leaving a red trail in its wake. My hand falls
down as i feel a stabbing pain from my neck. I move my hand to my neck and feel the
sticky liquid that now covers my neck and soon my chest. When i pull my hand away i
see a bloody hand. I smile knowing in a few minutes my blood will be all over my
chest and soon I’ll be a dead body. laying in my bed. 
My sheets will soon be covered in the red liquid and look as if they where red and
not white. But as i wait for my body to bleed out i think if you. I think of how much
i love you and you me. I think of how sad you'd be if i died. If you walked in and
saw my bloody body lying there dead. I think of what you'd do. But i cannot.
Would you kill yourself just to be with me again? Or would you continue to live as i
watch from above? I frown and wish i could stop the bleeding. But its to late.
What’s done is done. As i feel my life fade away i open my lips and manage one
word. A word i know you'd hate to hear me say.
"Goodbye." As the word leave my lips i smile happy that you had not heard me say it.

I look at my hand still red from my blood. I was calm. I smiled and closed my eyes
right as you came into the room. At first you seem happy. But as you turn to look at
me saying something i cannot hear, your black eyes grow wide and you rush over to me.
You try to lift me into your arms so you can save me but i stop you. I lift my hand
with my remaining strength and put my bloody hand onto your cheek. You begin to cry
and lean onto my hand and hold it to your face.                                I look
at you and smile. You try to tell me something but i can't hear you. I close my eyes,
and my hand falls from you cheek. I fall into a deep slumber, never to wake up again,
With a smile on my face. I feel my body losing the last of my blood and i fall. I
fall into nothingness. I fall for a long time, then i stop. I look all around me but
see nothing. I close my eyes and think of you. I open my eyes and see you crying over
my dead body. I slowly walk to you and place my hand on you shoulder. You jump and
look around you but see nothing. I smile. I lean down and hug you. You freeze, and
know it must be me coming to say my finale fair well. Your eyes tear up as you say.
"Please don't leave me. I need you here with me." You sound so sad. I smile and wish
you could see me so i knew you could hear me. "I wish i could." as if those words
held a secret spell in them. You jumped up and hugged me. I looked into you eyes and
saw what you saw. The girl you loved so much and just watched die in your arms,
Standing in front of you as if i was alive again by magic. I smiled and hugged you
back. "I know your upset but i had to die. It was my time to. Death takes whoever it
wants whenever it wants. And so my time was now. But do not let him take you too soon
in life. Please live a long happy life. The life you disserve and don't let my
passing prevent you from living the way you want." I said and felt tears leave my
eyes. You reached up and tried to wipe them away but your hand went through my face.
I frown as you did. I lightly moved my hand to your cheek feeling the warmth from
your body. The life running through your veins. I smiled and kissed your lips lightly
and pulled away. You looked as if you where going to say something but i spoke and
stopped your words. "I'll come to you in your dreams, i promise. Do not think for one
moment i will forget you. You will always have a place in my heart." As my words
faded as did i. I watched you fall to the ground and cry. I lifted my hand and
touched my dead body. As i did so it vanished. My body disappeared as did all of the
blood. I looked at you and saw you stand and knew you screamed 'no' as you ran to the
bed and laid where my body had been. You laid there and cried. I stood there and
watched you knowing i could do nothing to comfort you. I turned to leave and told
myself soon i will see you again. Soon i will hold you in my arms. And nothing not
even death could take me away from you.

                                              Chapter 1

As my golden sun sets i smile and know soon you will go to sleep. As i prepare to see
you in your dreams i think, maybe you will not want to see me. That you seeing me
will only bring back the pain from you watching me die in your arms. I'm about to
stay where i am, in my golden heaven, away from your dreams. But i realize i promised
you i'd come to you in your dreams. I stand up from my golden bed. I will never sleep
on it but i love to just lay in it and think of you. I love to think that you are
here with me in this golden heaven. Away from all the dangers of the world. I think
of you often. I think of your soft black hair, your soft body. Your beautiful voice,
as you say my name in the darkness. I miss you, yes but i know that it was deaths
doing that took me from you. I know you wish you could die with me. To end your life
then and there, so you could be with me but you know that’s not what i want. I want
you to live a long happy life. I want you to live the life you wanted. Not to kill
your self so you could be with me. As i watch the remaining glow from the sky
disappear i know soon you will be asleep. I leave my small gold room and walk along
the golden road. I’m not going anywhere in particular. I just need to do something
while i wait for you to sleep. i look at my dress and wonder if you'll recognize me.
My dress is a blinding white, with gold trimming. It was skin tight on the top, but
flowed into a frilly skitrt. As soon as i had stepping into my golden heaven, my
bloody white shirt and jeans where replaced with the beautiful dress. I was never one
for white. I would always wear blues. Every shade of blue. I love that color. its a
beautiful color. Even with my brown hair and eyes and pale skin i loved to where
blue. It made me look dead. Like a vampire at times but i grew so used to the blues
that after a while it looked normal and nice. I still love blue but don't dare wear
it in a golden place like this. I watch the finale shimmers of light fade away and
smile. As the moon glows bright i walk back to my room and change in a more simple
dress. I put on a soft light blue dress with  gold trimming and smile happy to wear
something that reminded me of you and home. I lay on my bed and close my eyes. I
think of you and soon i see a bright light  and know i will see you on the other side
of it.                                                                               
  I open my eyes and see you standing on a field surrounded by white flowers. i
didn't move from my spot. wondering if i should go to you. You looked so peaceful and
happy. i didn't want to move and make you sad again by seeing me. I stood there and
watched you. you didn't see me. I saw you kneel down and look at the sky. you knew it
was a dream sky but it still looked nice. i moved slowly to you and smiled when you
saw me. You stood up and ran to me. You hugged me and began to cry. "I've missed
you." you said holding me tight. I wrapped my arms around you and held you close. I
wanted to cry but knew i shouldn't. I looked into your eyes and smiled. "I know. But
i told you, When you sleep i will come and see you." I said putting my hand on your
cheek like i had done before i died. You leaned onto my hand and smiled happy that
you could feel my body on yours.  I wanted to tell you of the place you would soon
live at with me but i couldn't. you could not know what it was like in the golden
heaven till you died and came for your self. You pulled away from me and ran into the
forest giggling like a child. I smiled and followed you. You ran till you came to a
tree and looked back to see where i was. As you saw i was close you turned and ran
again. I smiled knowing this was a chase. I went to the left as you went to the right
and quietly made my way to the tree you stopped at next, carful not to give myself
away. When you thought all was clear and closed your eyes to catch your breath. I
strike. You looked up and gasped right as i was on you. I knocked you to the floor
and smiled down at you. "Gotcha." i said. and it was then that i noticed our lips
were only an inch apart. I was about to sit up when i looked into your eyes. You saw
the old me. The one that would chase you for hours till i got you and then i'd kiss
you. We'd stay in the forest for hours a day not caring about the time. Just sitting
in the woods with each other. I smiled and pulled away from you, laying on the ground
next to you. You looked at me and frown. "Your not going to kiss me like you used to
do, are you?" You asked me. I wanted to say i do want to kiss you. I wanted to kiss
you and never leave again. But i didn't. I just looked at the sky and said nothing. I
closed my eyes and was about to ask you if you'd been living you life the way you
wanted, When i felt you climb on top of me and look at me. I opened my eyes in time
to see you smile and kiss me.                                                        
 I gasped and automatically wrapped my arms around you holding you close to me. I
rolled over and pulled away and looked into your eyes. "Dam, when you want something
you go for it, don't you?" I said smiling at you. You smiled. Your eyes moved from my
lips down to my chest where the dress made a low V. I smiled and knew what you would
do next. I sat up and looked at you. I didn't notice before but now i did. You wore a
short black dress. When i knocked you over it moved up past you thighs. You saw where
my eyes went and smiled. You moved your hand to the hem of your dress and lifted it
slowly. I didn't move. I felt my breath stop, as i waited for you to lift you dress
completely. I didn’t want to stop you, but did so anyway. I grabbed your hand right
as you moved the dress past you waist and stopped you from moving farther. You smiled
and pulled me down on top of you. I looked into your eyes, and realized i hadn't
taken a breath. I inhaled slowly. You moved your hand away from your dress and
grabbed my hand and moved it down to your chest. "I know you want to." You said in a
whisper. You undid the buttons on the front of your dress and pulled your dress open
reviling your black lace bra. You moved my hand to your breast and smiled. I kissed
you and gently squeezed your breast. A small moan left your lips making me want to do
more to you. I wanted to make you scream. I wanted to make you feel like you where
floating on a cloud! I moved my other hand to your other breast and also gently
squeezed. As you moaned i pulled away and trailed my kisses to your chest. I kissed
your breast, as i undid the rest of the buttons on your dress. You tilted you head
back and moaned again. When all the buttons came loose I smiled and kissed you even
lower. I knew I shouldn't be doing this. Knew i should be talking to you and learning
if your doing what i asked. Living your life, and not crying over me. But i couldn't.
I didn't. I wanted to sit here forever with you. But i knew i only had till the sun
rises again. I only had a few hours till then. I had time to do both, right?     I
could make you scream and then talk to you. I kissed you there and smiled when you
arched and moaned in response. I slowly slid my tongue into you then moved my hand
from your breast down.                                                               
  But then I stopped. I stopped because I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. This-This
was wrong to do. All it would do would be to make you miserable. You’d wake up to
find it was all just a dream. Then you’d probably cry again. I hated it when you
cried. I hate it so much. It makes me want to just kill myself. I don’t care that
I’m already dead. I just want to disappear. I pull away from you and sit against a
tree. I don’t look at you or even say anything. I herd you sit up and come to sit
next to me. But still I refused to look at you. I couldn’t look at you. It would
only make me feel horrible for what I tried to do to you. You put your hand on my
cheek and made me look at you. I did look at you then. You looked worried about me.
But then again you always did worry about me. Even when we were killing monsters. You
never left my side. You always worried they’d kill me or kidnap me. I told you I
could take care of myself, but still you stayed with me.                             
 You kissed me. You kissed me deeply. I pulled away and stood up. I looked at you.
You where buttoning your dress up, looking at me. It always amazed me how you could
multitask. You told me it was easy to multitask, but I could never do it. You’d be
on the phone and then just start to write. You always did love to write. I’d always
find you writing something at night just before you went to bed. You always told me
to read what you had wrote to make shore it was ok. But the thing was they weren’t
ok. They were great. One night after I had read a poem you wrote I told you, you
could be a writer. But you told me you’d never do that, because you never had the
time to write much. I knew it was a lie. But I said nothing. You could do whatever
you wanted in you life. I smiled at the memory. You looked as if you wanted to say
something, but I beat you to it. “We can’t do it. This is only a dream. If we did
that…” I said and stopped. I knew you weren’t going to remember this but it
didn’t hurt to try. “If we did that it would only hurt you. Because this is only
a dream. None of this is real. If we were to have continued it would only have hurt
you.” You frowned understanding my words. “I wish death had not taken me from you
so soon.” I said and began to walk away. I looked at the sky through the trees and
saw the clear blue sky. I herd you follow me. Each step you took sounded distant. I
wanted to look back at you but I couldn’t. What had just happened was still running
through my head. I wanted you so badly. But I can’t have you. Not yet. Not now.
Soon I was in the field we where in not long ago. I smiled as the sun hit my face. It
felt so real. So warm. I tilted my head up to the sun and wished I could feel the
real sun on my face again. Oh how I’ve missed this. The warm sun on my face. I
opened my eyes and turned around to look at you but you where gone. My smile faded
and I turned around to try and find you. But you where gone. Why would you leave me?
Why would you leave and not say good bye or tell me? I looked at the ground. If you
really did leave it was because I wouldn’t make love to you. If you really did
leave it was my fault. I knew it would happen. I fell to the ground and felt the
tears leave my eyes. I wish I had never done what I did. I laid on the ground and
closed my eyes. I wanted to leave. To go back to my golden heaven. But I didn’t
know how to do that. I wanted to be in my soft bed. The only bed I had now. I heard
the sound of the light wind in the field fade and as I opened my eyes I knew how I
could get back home.                                                                 
I sat up from my bed and hugged my legs to my chest, unable to believe you left me. I
looked out my window and saw the sun was still not up. The moon shone bright in the
sky. I smiled. The moon looked so beautiful. I stood up and looked at myself in the
mirror. I looked like a mess. My light blond hair was tangled. I looked tired and you
could clearly see I wanted to cry. I changed into a gold dress that looked like one
of those old ball gown ones and smiled. I did my hair in a tight bun and put on
golden makeup. I put on a pair of golden heels to match and left my room. I walked
down the short street to the big castle like building. Every night there’s a ball.
Every one can come or just stay in there rooms. Its up to them. I entered the
building and smiled as I saw the whole room was filled with people laughing and
dancing. As I made my way down the stairs that led to the dance floor I looked
slightly to my right and saw three people standing there looking uncomfortable. I
walked over to them with a smile on my face. I curtsied and bowed my head. “good
evening.” I said. None of them spoke. One was a woman. She had light brown hair and
soft brown eyes. She looked like she was in her twenties maybe, when she had died.
They all did. She was short. Maybe about 5’ 10. She was thin. But not like those
really thin models on TV. She wore a red dress. It was sleeveless and had a slit
starting at her thigh. The dress was long. Her shoes where red heels. She looked
beautiful. On her right was a man. He was nicely dressed in a black suit. He was also
thin. He had a muscular build to him. He was at least a foot taller then the girl.
His black hair combed back. His ice blue eyes sparkled. One the girls Left was a
another man. He was as tall as the first. He was also dressed in a suit, but he was
thin he didn’t look like he had much muscle but maybe it was hidden? I’d have to
find out. His blond hair was long, it came down in waves past his shoulders. His eyes
where also blue but they where different. Where they lighter? A different shade of
blue? I couldn’t tell. He was a mystery to me. I smiled at them and was about to
walk away when I herd one speak. “And a good evening to you madam.” It was the
one with mysterious eyes. He smiled and bowed. “My name is Dimitri. This is Clara,
my friend.”He said gesturing to the small girl. And then the other man. “And my
brother Richard.” The other two bowed and smiled.  I bowed back to them and said.
“My name Is Seri.”                                             
   Dimitri smiled and took my hand and kissed it. “Would you like to dance?” He
asked me. I smiled. “Yes I would. But I’ll warn you I am a horrible dancer.”   
   He smiled and led me to the dance floor. “Oh, really? It doesn’t look like you
are. You look like you’re a great dancer.” He said with a charming smile. When he
looked at me I felt like I was dreaming him up. Was he real or was I going crazy? I
didn’t care. As he led me to the dance floor I thought of you. Was it wrong that I
was dancing with him? Was it wrong to maybe fall in love if I’m dead and you
aren’t? I sighed and wished I knew why you had left me.                      
   Dimitri looked at me. He stopped walking and had stopped before we could get to
the dance floor. It was only a few more feet in front of us. “What’s wrong.” He
asked. “You look upset.” I wanted to tell him about you. About my Angel. But I
was scared. Would he think it strange for me to continue seeing you even though I’m
dead? I wanted to tell him of you. All of you. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell
him of you. I simply couldn’t. I looked at him and smiled. “Its nothing really I
was just thinking of my love.” I said but wouldn’t tell him who it was when he
asked. He started walking again. We made it to the dance floor right as a new song
started. I felt as if I was swallowed by the eighteenth sentry. In the corner was a
small group of people playing different instruments. As the music flowed through the
room I danced with Dimitri. We danced for a while before we stopped to rest. We went
to a small table and sat down. A waiter came by our table and asked if we’d like
something to drink. Dimitri asked for
Last edited: 22 May 2013

Vilenvile says :   22 May 2013   842762  
please tell me what you think. im working on chapter two right now


Related Entries
Crazybutbeautifulpersonsarah: my friends poem
‹***!BICURIOUS PURPLE!***›: unknown poem poem
Green_Buddy: My Dead Soul Poem
‹***!BICURIOUS PURPLE!***›: DEATH HIMSELF(poem) sad poems but its da truth
Cyanide_kills: With Life Comes Death

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012