Thursday, 10 November 2011
03:26:50 PM (GMT)
Nothing feels good right now.
I know half of its in my head, but...
I don't know, maybe that's worse?
I can't draw, or paint.
I won't let myself for some reason.
I want to write a song, but I only have one line, playing over and over.
It won't stop.
I keep remembering me and Adrian talking, holding hands.
I mentioned how I used to not be awkward, if fact, when I was younger, I was pretty
much the opposite.
"What happened to you? Nevermind...."
I know it was just dumb, and I would hate if it was on his mind enough to keep him
from saying that.
But I shouldn't have laughed. I shouldn't have said it was unrelated.
I should have done exactly what I felt like doing
But then I would have cried. I don't think I would be able to let Adrian see me cry.
Some kid in my Spanish class called me weird. Almost everyone else agreed, except for
the three people who sit by me.
until school let out, I was fighting back tears.
In group therapy, two girls were complaining that since they got out of the hospital,
their moms were constantly watching them, to the point where it was annoying.
My mother changed nothing. I don't think she cares enough to.
I'm stating to worry nobody really does, even Adrian, even my best friend.
I feel like throwing up.
I think I'm going to go do that now.
Last edited: 30 November 2011