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This diary entry is written by ‹hypnohsis›. ( View all entries )
 
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Hayzel</3Category: (general)
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
12:54:13 AM (GMT)
I'm sick of love. Fo sho, I really hate it. Sarah's back to loving you, so I have to deal with the stupid jealousy[followed by guilt] of you and her. I really hate it. REALLY! But no worries, you like Kelly. I think that's better. 'Please promis me we'll always be friends, even if your girlfriend has already bought a casket for my death.' 'Of course we will, Regan.' Liar, Hayes. Your such a liar. I love our many convos, even though your the only one speaking. I feel beaten down, broken, because of you. I'm sick of the insults, the partial glares, the'pretend' anger. You know I started wearing makeup? For you? Mascara that burns my eyes, lipgloss that is really sticking, and foundation that is reeeeaaalllllyyy hard to get off, all for you. Don't you feel special? Half of the time, you make my heart skip a beat, you make my smile soar. And the other half of the time, I'm choking back the tears. Sometimes, you don't treat people right either. Your so competitve! But that's alright, right Because nobody is perfect. I just wish you didn't get so angry at me, cause it makes me want to hurt myself. Badly. I need to let you go. But how? I don't want to start over. Part of me wants to cling to you, never let go. The other prt of me wants to run away. From you. So, please help my indeceisive mind, what do I do? Everytime I start over, you end up bringing me back in. I hate it. Your like a drug. People love it enough that they've created self help groups because of it. Just don't fall for an evil little harpy, okay?Please? Don't hold me down, Colbie Calait~ I'm just so tired of these troubles that I try to hide. Makes me wanna wash away my whole world inside. I think it's time that I make changes in the things I do. This weight on my chest I am ready to loose. And all this time I've been getting in my own way. I have to tell myself only I can be the one to make a change. Don't hold me down. Oh, I was getting so far. Don't hold me down. Cause I don't wanna fall apart. Don't hold me down. You see me waking up and feel it now. I'm breaking down and nothing's gonna stop me now. No, no. I have been rocking back and forth across the line. Hanging for a moment on the wrong side. Now I'm standing up, I think I'll be here for a while. Hope I rememeber how to keep on this steady smile. All that time I was getting in my own way. I had to tell myself only I could be the one to make a change. Don't hold me down. Oh, I was getting so far. Don't hold me down. Cause I don't wanna fall apart. Don't hold me down. You see me waking up and feel it now. I'm breaking down and nothing's gonna stop me now. I know I'm gonna fight it. I'm tired of being blinded. So.... I won't hold me down. Oh, I wanna go so far. I won't hold me down. I don't wanna fall apart. Don't hold me down. You see you're waking up and feel it now. I'm breaking down and nothing's gonna stop me now. No, no. Nothing's gonna stop me now. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. G'night, Hayes. Call me back when your done with Sarah.</3
Last edited: 1 June 2011

Comments 
toffelle says:   2 June 2011   894445  
And this is why I don't even look at boys.

I'm sorry to hear about this, Re. 
 
‹hypnohsis› says :   2 June 2011   451449  
@toffelle 
Thanks, Sistermine C: 
 

 
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