Thursday, 23 December 2010
08:40:57 PM (GMT)
The last words were meant for anything but the situation.
The situation is cruel, unsightly idea - it’s a menacing thought,
Just another menacing dream - anything to rid any word said.
Laying down in the dark room - all on my own, I whisper words that I would never say,
Awake and alive - I’m losing all my drive.
I think of you and my heart tears - my thoughts start to drive me insane.
I haven’t had the monster in days, the weeks long by for the want of the drugs,
I should be completely sane - but no, I am insane permanently.
I can change nothing of it, my life is down - my words mean nothing anymore.
I blankly stare at the razor in my palm - my hand closed tightly around the handle of
My blank stares mean nothing, because I am taking ideas into my brain of what to do,
To rid myself of everyone - away from you - and be gone for good.
For good life - a life without you.
Though every step I take to ridding myself - making myself no more, makes it hard
whenever I think of you.
I can’t help but stop myself once - even twice - and no more then thrice.
I think of every thought - about you - your smile, your hair, your eyes, your
laughter, the anger that you bottled up,
Even the sadness that you forgot about.
With me - I was never good enough. I want you to know,
If I’ll be good enough soon - later - anytime it works,
You said, “Never,” I will never, be good enough.
I take my second thoughts away from my maniac mind,
And thrust the knife in my arm - it hurts - but the painful sight,
Fills my thoughts with pleasure, it feels better then ever.
I pull out the razor roughly, blood over the steel and sharpness - my arm is in
In a blood filled mess. I’m insane, I’m filled with poison.
I stick the knife in my left leg - and slice it down to my ankle. I hiss at myself,
Ruby red colour, the hot sticky mess, running down my calve.
My pain indulges my brain, I never knew what to say.
I let the razor tell all my thoughts - after I get rid of the slicing on my leg,
I move to my chest - I stick it into the opposite side of where my heart is located,
Pumping blood into my veins.
I move the razor across my chest - to my heart, I feel my heartbeat in my chest and
And even my legs.
I take a plunge and stick it into my heart deeply,
Gasping for breath,
My last words said,
“I love you,” as I washed away from the world.