Tuesday, 22 December 2009
01:57:54 AM (GMT)
1.Speak in improper English like ain’t, and when the teacher corrects, nod like
you understand and continue to speak improperly.
Randomly get out of your seat and sit on the floor.
When it is very quiet, raise your hand and insist it is too loud.
If the person next to you is quiet, turn and inform them that they are distracting
When the teacher calls on you to answer the question, answer `Two ’
Randomly raise your hand and say “The answer is three ”
Give your teacher a note that uses improper English and misspelled words. Have the
note insisting that you are `the most bestest’ in the class and demand to be moved
During a test, tell the teachers `the voices’ are making you cheat
Color red dots all over your arm and show the teacher, and tell her/him that you are
allergic to School.
Talk about the road kill squirrel you saw on your way to school. Say that it is your
dinner. Talk in a redneck voice.
Take out sock puppets and play with them, and occasionally have them grab your
classmate’s hair. When the teacher looks, keep the sock on your hand and point to
your classmate and tell the teacher that the classmate is attacking you with puppets
If your teacher walks around the room during the test, cover your test and glare at
If your teacher walks around the room during a test, raise your hand and tell the
teacher that they are cheating off you.
When the teacher calls on you to answer a question, talk in a creepy voice and say
`I’ll never tell’ and a few questions later raise your hand and ask why you
haven’t been allowed to answer a question yet.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Stay in your seat, and when asked if you are going, say `I
Raise your hand and point to a person on the other side of the room. Insist that that
person is cheating off you.
Say that someone across the room is using their telepathic (mind-reading) abilities
to cheat off of you.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Get up and walk into the wall. Furrow your brow, glare at
the wall and walk into it again. Smile sheepishly and then walk out the door.
When coming back from bathroom, walk through the door. Then ask how you got there.
Raise your hand and ask if you can be excused to skip class.
Meow and bark occasionally.
Hold your head and groan, then tell your teacher that your multiple personalities are
Walk into class and look around confused. Ask where you are, then say “Oh, this is
school I thought this was McDonalds
Read a book, and when class starts, raise your hand and say that they are
interrupting your reading
Stumble into class, slur your words and tell your teacher `I swear to drunk I’m not
Bring handcuffs into class and wear a plastic fake police badge. Tell your teacher
that he/she is under arrest.
Walk into class with handcuffs on your wrist and say “Sorry for being late, I just
broke out of prison.” (even if you aren’t late)
Meow to answer a question
Raise your hand and introduce everyone to your imaginary friend Bob. Then loudly
whisper to Bob saying that you hate this class.
Chew gum in class. If teacher says `I hope you brought enough for everybody’ take
out packs of gum and start passing out gum.
Smack gum loudly. When told to throw it out, take out the gum and hold in on your
finger. Then insist you don’t have any gum, and put it back in your mouth.
Stand up and introduce yourself at the beginning of class (even though everyone knows
you). Inform everyone that you have had `the problem’ for three years now. Then act
confused and ask if the class is Alcoholics Anonymous.
Shove your heaviest book off your desk. Repeat. Glare at someone else every time the
Cry out randomly that everyone is against you.
Tell your teacher there is a disturbance the Force
Make a cone shape out of paper and glue red tissue paper to the top. Scribble/draw
red and orange all over it. Wear it on your head and tell everyone that you’re a
Tell your teacher you don’t need to do your homework because you’re skipping
Tell your teacher that you’re going to be sick tomorrow.
In anything but foreign language class (if you have one), speak in a foreign
Write `Gullible’ on a piece of paper. Tape that piece of paper to the floor,
ceiling, or chalkboard. Then tell everyone there is gullible written on the ___(floor
ceiling or chalkboard). If they don’t believe you point, then say `Made you look
Randomly laugh hysterically
Yell out STOP DROP AND ROLL
Tell your teacher to get ready to evacuate the school, for you are going to pull a
Write `objects in mirror are dumber than they appear’ on a small mirror. Ask people
if they need to borrow your mirror.
Do the above, except on the bathroom mirrors.
Wear tissues on your head
Come into class with sunglasses, and pretend to shoot at your teacher with your
fingers. Then loudly whisper `Sorry, I had to get rid of the alien scum’
Pass around a petition against petitions
Raise your hand, act terrified and cry, saying `You didn’t have to be so mean ’
If someone speaks over the intercom, curl up in fetal position under your desk and
say `It’s the voices again.’
Hum `If your happy and you know it’ loudly then randomly start to cry
Try to get your class to sing “We don’t need no education”
Randomly get up and run a lap around the room, then sit down and act as if nothing
Get up and get a tissue, then just stand and stare at the tissue. If asked what you
are doing by the teacher, claim that you are having a staring contest with the tissue
and you’re sure you are about to win.
Pretend to slap a fly and then go `mmmm snack time’
Lead your class in a sing-a-long.
Poke the person sitting next to you repeatedly until they get angry, then blame it on
your imaginary friend.
Go into class, and then run to the window. Sadly proclaim that your imaginary friend
just committed suicide.
Invent an imaginary hamster. Ask everyone if they would like to hold him.
In a creepy voice say to everyone `You will die in seven days’ Act like nothing had
(If in a school that requires uniforms) Loudly talk about how one person’s uniform
is `so two minutes ago’ (even though you are wearing the same thing)
(If in a school with no uniforms) Put on a weird shirt and loudly whisper about
everyone’s bad fashion sense.
Raise your hand and wave it around like you know the answer. Then ask the teacher why
they called on you.
Raise your hand and wave it eagerly like you know the answer. Do this for every
question. When called on, answer every question `Abraham Lincoln.’
Make up a language and when no one understands it act like they are crazy.
Laugh hysterically and proclaim `You shall all perish Perish I say ’ Act like
nothing had happened.
Try to hold a swordfight with rulers.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Get up, run into the wall and pretend to faint. Lay there
until someone runs over to help you up, then walk out the door to go to the bathroom.
Purposely drop your pen. Ask someone to pick it up, and when they do defensively say
`That’s mine ’
Read with your textbook upside-down.
Bring in a pillow and explain “The desk is too hard for sleeping.”
Bring in a pillow and lie in the aisle and pretend to go to sleep.
Walk down the aisle and pretend someone tripped you. Glare at that person for the
rest of class.
Get up to sharpen your pencil or find a tissue, then stand up there and look around.
Then cry out `I’m lost ’
Create a map of the classroom. Use the map whenever you need to find your seat or a
tissue or the pencil sharpener.
Carefully place the tissue box in a certain spot at the beginning of class. In class,
scream or gasp and run over to the tissue box, acting like it was moved. Carefully
Ask if you can teach the class.
Draw caricatures of your teacher. Sign the paper with a classmate’s name/initials.
Leave the pictures on the classmate’s desk.
Act jittery all class, shaking and twitching. Recoil whenever someone passes or tries
to touch you.
Start a poker game. Try to get your teacher to join.
Wear Mardi Gras beads and a party hat, and throw confetti into the air when school
Talk about your dream job as a janitor.
Bring a bottle to school. Drink out of it all day. Cry if it gets confiscated.
Act like you’re in the army, saluting to teachers and calling them ma’am and sir.
Bring crutches to school.
Ask your teachers if they find sick pleasure in tormenting you.
If a teacher isn’t already in the classroom, when they enter, inform them that they
are late and should report to the principal.
Put raisins over your teeth and grin widely at everyone you meet.
When you get homework, stand up, outraged, and yell that you’re going to sue.
Convince someone to pretend to be your lawyer. Bring them to school the following
Dress up as the Phantom of the Opera or Dracula or other cape wearing people. Swish
Whenever the bell rings or an ambulance/police car passes, yell about the pigs coming
to get you, and run out of the classroom.
Like, say `like,’ like, a lot…like
Speak with an accent, love.
Do the chicken dance.
If any of these get you in trouble, grumble loudly about how you hate Sharpies.
101.Count how many times the professor uses ?uh,? ?umm,? or ?like? during an entire
102.Try to hold your breath for as long as you can without passing out. Time
yourself. Record your time. Repeat.
103.Do aerobic exercises in your head so that by the end of the day, you can think to
yourself how ?athletic? you were today.
104.Write a play about an angry lobster, a happy penguin, and an evil genius.
105.Plug your ears and try to see if you can lip-read what the professor is saying.
106.Look at all the dots in the ceiling and try to find your favorite cartoon
107.Arm wrestle/play thumb war with yourself and accuse your right arm/left thumb of
108.Come up with a list of all the words you can make out of the letters in
109.Say a word silently to yourself (e.g. ?broccoli?) so many times that it loses
meaning. Then try to remember what it meant in the first place.
110.Draw a flipbook at the bottom right corner of your notebook.
111.Keep your eyes open without blinking for as long as you can.
112.Re-enact or make up your very own 50-minute silent movie.
113.Look out the window and try to find cool-looking clouds that look like they came
straight out of a Disney animated movie.
114.Start knitting yourself a scarf for the cold winter ahead.
115.Play cat’s cradle with the cute boy or girl sitting next to you. Who knows, you
might get lucky and score a screen name.
116.Fold paper cranes so you’ll have a hefty collection by the end of the semester.
117.Switch seats in a clandestine manner every time the professor turns to face the
blackboard. Count how many times you can do this without getting caught.
118.Stare at someone until they turn around. Then keep staring and give them a
maniacal smile. Be sure your eyes are open real wide to enhance the effect.
119.Try not to fall asleep.
120.. Pretend you’re a tree.
121. Try to develop psychic powers, then use ’em.
122. Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room.
123. Sing Show Tunes.
124. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
125. Think of new pick lines. See if they work.
126. Pretend you’re flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
127. Churn some butter.
128. Conceive a brand new language.
129. Walls made of brick. Count ’em.
140. Plot revenge against someone.
141. Think of nicknames for everyone you know.
142. See how long you can hold your breath.
143. Take your pants off and give them to the professor.
14. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
145. Change seats every three minutes.
146. Think of ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit.
148. Run across the room, tag someone and say You’re it.
149. Announce to the class that you are God and that you’re angry.
150. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
151. Start a wave.
152. Walk around the room begging for spare change.
153. Roast marshmellows.
154. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
155. Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
156. Take apart your desk.
157. Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
158. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
159. Do a quick tapdance routine.
160. Try bird-watching.
161. Walk up the aisle yelling, Popcorn Hot popcorn here .
162. Throw your backpack at someone.
163. Run to the window, then say, Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal .
164. Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
165. Start laughing really hard and say, Oh, now I get it. .
166. Make a sundial.
167. Give yourself a new identity.
168. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can’t swim.
169. Dig an escape tunnel.
170. Announce your candidacy for President.
171.Make a paper football and get someone to play with you. When they put their hands
up into a little goal, flick the football at the teacher and immediatly go back to
doing your work.
172.Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear When I
say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay and see how many people say ho
173.At another quiet time, shout out Marco and then in a squeeky voice shout out Polo
174.Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what you
are doing. Meditate. Humm as loud as you can and when your teacher says something
about it, act all offended. Do you have a problem with my religion, sir ?
175.If one of your friends is drinking something, in the middle of a drink start
chanting chug chug chug
176.When the class is very quiet, say in a casual voice Knock knock
177.When the class is quiet, sigh and say This class is really boring
Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse you look confused and point to the
person to the left of you. After that, point to the person on the right of you
178.If you are black start singing country music, if you are white start rapping.
179.Make as many paperballs as you can and set them on your desk in a giant pile. If
anyone looks at you, look tough and nod at them.
180.If you are a male, start singing Brittany Spears’s Hit me baby one more time
complete with raise the roof action.
181.Take everything out of your backpack and stack it on your desk. Take out a sheet
of paper and take invintory of your stuff.
182.Take an empty gum wrapper and put it in your palm, then signal someone by going
pssssst. Hey Make them lean all close to you and get them thinking you have something
interesting to say. Look around and then give them the gumwrapper.
183.See how many tiny paper balls you can set on the person in front of you without
them knowing it. Tie someones shoe’s together and kick them.
184.Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick me
sign on without them knowing it.
185.Start singing Can you feel the love tonight from the Lion King.
186.Fall asleep. When you wake up say shit like I had a dream and you were in it. And
you You too ...
187.Blurt out chinese waiter talk. SHICKEN FRIE RIE, SEVEN DOLLA
188. Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com
189.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
190.Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
191 Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
192. Finish all your sentences with In accordance with the prophecy.
193.Dont use any punctuation
195.As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
196.Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For
example, If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3.
197Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
198Tell your children over dinner. Due to the economy, we are going to have to let
one of you go.
199UsE RAnDoM cAPiTaliZaTiON iN EvEryTHiNg YOu wrITe.
200Follow delivery men around in pure James Bond style, but make it very obvious.
201Persistently call your teachers ’sweetcheeks’ and wink at them in front of
202Whenever you answer the phone, do so in a french accent, and slowly change it to a
japanese accent.203Have races in the corridors with chairs that don’t have wheels
204Hold open automatic doors for people.
205Threaten to jump out of a ground floor window.
206Deliberately get colleagues names wrong.
207Wear socks on the outside of your shoes.
208End all sentences with .co.uk .
209Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act
genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
210In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, Shut
up, damn it, all of you just shut up .
211 Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, Sorry, I
really prefer it this way .
212.Read the dictionary backwards and look for any hidden messages.
213Stare at people though the tines of a fork and pretened they’re in jail.
214When someone says Have a nice day , tell them you have other plans .
215 Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters CHECK YOUR FLY .
216 Address the professor as your excellency .
217 Shout WOW after every sentence of the lecture.
218 Ask whether you have to come to class.
219 Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write Signup Sheet at the top,
and start passing it around the room.
220 Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor
221 Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, Can you spell that?
222 Disassemble your pen. Accidentally propel pieces across the room while playing
with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat
223 In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
224 Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you’re called
on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you’re
waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your
professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the
cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak."
When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can’t believe
you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
225 Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using it. If
your professor objects, explain that you "can’t stand sitting in this pigsty any
longer." Keep vacuuming, grumbling angrily.
226 Brush your teeth during class. While doing so, raise your hand as if you have a
question, and mumble your question incoherently while brushing, spewing toothpaste
all over the place. If your professor objects to your actions, go on a tirade about
proper oral hygiene.
227 Carve a bust of