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This diary entry is written by Hikati. ( View all entries )
 
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HELP! what should i do?Category: (general)
Monday, 16 November 2009
12:54:48 AM (GMT)
OMGosh! stupid parents!ok, more like annoying father! he is being a clean freak
again and i cant stand it! hellllloOO! people arent gonna think less of us if we have
a few papers on the table!cuz then, it looks like we are actually living in the
place!ugh, im venting, but i need to.i havent in a while.maybe i should cry, havent
done that in a while, and then maybe i can feel better. life is just insane right now
anyways. my sister is having senior stress along with problems with her roommate. im
having guy issues, which im gonna explain now. ok, so there is this guy...and we
dated for 5 months in 4th grade, and i broke up with him cuz he pissed me off and it
was just another story in and of itself. so, in 4th grade he had told me he loved me,
and since i flet more strongly toward him than any other person, i told him i loved
him too.but then i broke up with him. well, at the end of that school year, i moved
across the country, to where im living right now. he still hadnt gotten over me in
5th,6th, and 7th grade. during 5gh and 6th grade, there were certain intervals that i
would feel myself falling for him again, and i yelled at myself. well, in 7th grade,
my friend lauren was txting him and talking to him on the phone with me, and thought
we went well together and had me list off reasons why i did and didnt like him.the
dids won.so, i dated him again, but it only lasted for a week.i broke it off again,
but this time i really regret it.i jumped the gun cuz he was being possessive and
wouldnt stop txting me.well, you know llong-distance relationships dont work
well.anyways, i still love him, and he is still in love with me. i love him so much,
and now im debating on if i want to go out with him again.ive told him why i dont
really, at least most of the reasons, like im afraid of breaking his heart again, cuz
we are BEST friends. he said he knew about that risk and doesnt care, cuz of how much
he loves me.he has also blown off all my other concerns, trying to put my concerns at
ease.my other reasons didnt really invlove him, exactly. one was that before my mom
had said she would feel disappointed if i dated him again, but she said it was ok
now. so, mom, taken care of,the other one was my freinds, cuz some were encouraging
me while others werent.well, i took care of them too.i know they shouldnt have been
influencing me, but they were, so shoot me.anyways, now, there are only a few things
keeping me away.1. i like where we are now, its nice, and we are basically
unofficially dating, but not officially(obviously).2. is me.i remember that when i
dated him for a week, everything was fine before i said yes, but then it felt a
little like a weight on my soul.maybe that was just the possessiveness from him.and
he HAS cahnged, a lot, and i like him even more than before(i didnt know that was
possible). something my friend lauren told me that i COMPLETELY agree with is: He
seems like the perfect guy until you start dating him. yeah...so..but he has changed
and that applies to what i know from our previous relationships.we talk and txt
everyday and have talked on the phone for 11 hours straight before.my question is,
what should i do!? should i date him again, or break both our hearts?idk, its so
hard.right now, im obviously just keeping everything the same, but u dont want to
wait so long to where its too late. he says he loves me, and one time(when he said he
was over me but wasnt)when he told me that he loved another girl more then he ever
loved me, when i asked him about it and he said he was trying to make me
jealous(which he did).so, oh idk. I NEED HELP! i can never make up my mind. so,
comment on here telling me what you think i should do.

Comments 
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   16 November 2009   472763  
...OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL SAY.
 
Xx_IwIshIwasafIsh_xX says:   16 November 2009   679311  
you know what I have to say and...
WHY DIDN'T YOU USE CAPS!? D:<
 
Hikati says :   18 November 2009   151878  
i know marisa.and why should i have used caps?
 

 
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