Crisis- friends help meee... Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: I hate the moon! in category (general)

Crisis- friends help meee...Category: (general)
Friday, 4 September 2009
09:59:14 AM (GMT)
Some of you may not know this, but I am obscenly bad with people.

The new school year is starting in four days. *gulp*

I'm beginning High School. *... Meh*

I have to actually meet, and preferably have conversations with people. And I can't
edit what I say before I say it. HELP ME PLEASE.

I have no natural instinct with people what-so-ever. Inter personal social
interactions skeeve me out. I can't just "be myself" with people, because I never
know which self to be. If I could be invisable, and observe the situation for ten
minutes or so before speaking, I would feel much better.

Last year I had these same worries, and I just decided  around a month before school
"well... This year I'll just act like an anime character. Birght and cheerful and
cute, and kind of ditsy." and it worked. Everyone liked me that way. But I couldn't
keep it up. Five months in, it occured to me in a vague sort of way that I hadn't
thought about... Well, anything, for months. After that I could keep that energy
level up, and I got too lazy to skip, and I kept forgetting to smile, and I used big
words... It was awful. That happy, silly, skipping girl started ranting about the
nature of good and evil without any warning what so ever.

I've been racking my brains all summer, but I can't think of a personality type to
display at the start of school, especially not one I can keep up all year. If I don't
have one before I walk in the doors, I'll just go to my default mode, AKA perpetual
annoyed/ bored looking frown, perfect posture, non commital responses. I'm not
really annoyed, but I have to put concious effort into displaying emotions,
and people don't get that. But I can't say it. "Hi, my name is Kirti, great to
meet you, don't worry if I look bored while you talk to me, that's just how I am."
<-- You just can't do that!!

Can someone advise me, or give me a personality idea, or slap me until I calm to
hello-how-are-you down?

Scare the Living Shi* Out of
Don't even try translation that back, it came out horribly...

tiggerlemon101 says:   4 September 2009   756357  
The reason teenagers scare the living shi* out of you (and  me as
well, but I'm trying...) is because I think you're too far ahead of
them.  See, you can't say, "Hi, my name is Kirti, great to meet
you, and don't mind if I look bored while you're talking to m -that's
just the way I am" to an ADULT, but knowing teenagers, I see no reason
why you couldn't say that.  I've said things along those lines
before, and they work.
   ...Well, maybe don't say the part about looking bored right away...
say it after you've been talking for a little while.  

   I'm starting high school, too, and I''ve already decided that I'm
going to accidentally-on-purpose injure the person who's locker is
beside me with me locker door, just so I can apaologize and introduce
myself.  You should try that!  Just be like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so
sorry!  I'm Kirti, by the way."

   It's a start (albeit a small one), but you've got to start
somewhere.  *shrugs her soulders nonchalantly*  
Kirti says:   4 September 2009   132888  
I've said things like that too... The teenagers in question said
"Oooookaaaaaay then..." and back out of the conversation immediatly. I
was so embarressed...

Also, I keep google searching "conversationg starters" but none of
them actually give a conversation starter. There are thousands
of websites on the subject, but all of them just say "read magazines
for conversation topics". I need to start a convsersation first
you daft, silly.... Website-making-people! *Kirti is hysterical*
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   4 September 2009   138434  
Sorry, I have zero people skills. D:
It's awkward when I try to start a conversation.
tiggerlemon101 says:   4 September 2009   718954  
Oh.  I must jsut go to school with abunch of weirdos... wait!  I
already knew that, didn't I?  Sorry.  

Do the locker thing, or if you find yourself beside someone when
you're walking out of a class,  try to make eye contact for about 1
1/2 seconds beforesmiling and saying something about the assignment.
Hopefully that will help!
Jessicaaa says:   4 September 2009   217679  
Well, Id have to tell you I started highschool about a month ago and
I'm a freshman. It isn't as bad as you think it would be. Really all
you have to do is be yourself. Don't try and act like someone your
not, it's not gonna make things better for you. Don't do something on
purpose just to get a conversation starting. I know that "being your
self" is one of those common sayings but really it's the truth.
callie11 says:   5 September 2009   643335  
All I'll say is to try and act like the new kid. Not in the
help-I'm-lost-and-don't-know-anyone way, but in the
I-don't-know-anyone kind of way. I guess I'm trying to say act like
you've got a clean slate. Maybe be quiet the first few days, watching
and listening to everyone without saying much. See if you can find
other people who use big words, or you can relate to in some way. MAKE
SOME NEW FRIENDS. You can't possibly be the only person who's a little

As for conversation starters, it seems to me that the best ones for
the beginning of school are schedule-related. "What's your schedule
like?" "Who've you got for _(subject)_?" "Are you taking _(class)_?"
Ask the people who have lockers around you. And if at you school there
are top lockers and bottom lockers, if you somehow end up with a top
locker (I never seem to get one assigned, but end up trading), it's
okay to "accidently" drop something on the person below you. Just not
anything that cound cause permanent damage, like a textbook. And if
you don't like where you locker is, you can always go around asking to
trade with people.

My school started last week and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought
it'd be. I hope yours won't be either. Good Luck!
Kirti says:   6 September 2009   238433  
Jessicaa- I'm not at all worried about the fact that it's high
school. I have these worries every year, because I have no social
instinct. I don't have a self to be. Seriously. Thanks though.

Callie: Hm... But how do you suddenly start a conversation in the
second week after not speaking to a person the first three days? But
conversation starters, yessssss, I love you now.

Mirisa: We're two of a kind. *siiigh*

Tigger: Thank you!

You're all making me feel a bit better.
tiggerlemon101 says:   8 September 2009   466438  
So... how was your first day?

  Mine was okay - great, actually, except for the bus.  I am the last
stop on the route, and the only one on my stop as well, so I was stuck
sitting alone at the front.  Bleck, I am totally not that kind of
  I talked to a couple of new people, one of whom was an annoying,
Hollister-wearing, air-headed rich kid, the other of whom had major
social anxiety, was panicky every time a teacher spoke to her and can
never open her lock despite knowing the combination, and the final of
whom I hop to actually become friends with.  She just asked me if I
was new and I said I was, and then I asked her what her first class
was.  We were both in drama, so we walked in together and sat down
beside each other.  It worked out well.
  However, the whole thing felt like an out-of-body,
once-in-a-lifetime experience.  It still hasn't quite sunken in yet
thatfrom now on, this is how I am going to attend school and these
will be my teachers.

   Ooh, and we're reading 'Romeo and Juliet' in English, which is
exciting, although I'd rather read 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. 
Later, we're going to start 'Lord of the Flies.'
Kirti says:   8 September 2009   984683  
It was just Orientation, and I already commented on your diary 
‹ruthie .› says:   9 September 2009   148176  
I'm not great at advice, because I am exactly the same way, but i
would say just be yourself. because yourself is clearly awesome. 
good luck, or i hope you had a good first day if you are back already
: )
Kirti says:   9 September 2009   969286  
It was pretty good. I don't find the be yourself thing helpful
though, because I am completly insane and most of my personality
traits are in paradox with one another.
tiggerlemon101 says :   5 October 2009   271119  
@above: Me, too.  Like, I'll sit there being perfect and smart and
having the English teacher call me "the voice of authority" in his
classroom, and five minutes later I'm holding a pen to somebody's
eyes, threatening to yank it out with the pen.   


Next entry: The Evil Orphan (3?) in category (general)
Related Entries
LittleDoll: Breaking down. RANT
Bleach: Who Is Your Best Friend? Read This
Maddie_Murakami: Rant...
CandiKate: My 3d Survey for you to do!
StarGirlM7: this cute boy BOYZZZ

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012