Friday, 20 March 2009
11:57:34 PM (GMT)
1 There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and
they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then
quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex.
Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same
response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes
the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
2 One day there was a little girl and it was her birthday, but her parents
had to go out for the night so they hired a babysiter and told him to let the girl
do whatever she wanted to do because it was her birthday.
So when the parents left, the little girl was playing and the babysiter got tired
he said "I'm going to take a shower and the little girl said "Oh, can I take a
with you?" and the babysiter said " Uh, O.K. Just don't look down."
When they were taking a shower the little girl dropped the shampoo and when she
picked it up she saw his dick and said "What's that?"
The guy said "Um, it's a ruber ducky" and the girl says "O.K."
Then the babysiter said "I'm tired I'm going to go to sleep." and the girl says
I go to sleep with you?" and the guy says "Um, O.K. Just don't look under the
So when they're in the bed there's a thunderstorm and the girl gets scared and
under the covers. Then she looks at the guys dick and says "Can I play with your
rubber ducky because I'm scared" and the guy says " Uh, O.K." and he falls asleep.
The next morning he looks at the bed and he sees the there is blood all over the
place and he asks the little girl "What Happened" and the little girl says"The
rubber ducky spit at me so I chopped it's head off."
3 A tomato, a piece of gum, and a penis are all talking.
The tomato says "I've got the worst live, I get cut up and stuck in a sandwhich".
The piece of gum says "No, mine's worse, I get chewed up, spit out and stepped on".
The penis says "No, by far I've gor the worst life... I get a plastic bag stuck
my head, then I'm shoved in a dark tunnel and made to do push ups 'till I throw
4 man goes to his doctor for an annual check up.
The doctor says "I'll need you to come back tomorrow with a urine sample, a poo
sample and a sperm sample".
The man replies "Right so doctor, I'll bring'em by tomorrow"
When he gets home his wife askes "Well what did he say ?"
The man replies "He needs me to bring in a pair of your underwear
5 One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put
The tax collector explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.
She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a
hour with her occupation.
An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer."
He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution."
She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."