Thursday, 1 January 2009
02:07:35 AM (GMT)
I have a huge problem. This summer things started to change. We were a single unit
if you saw one of us the others were in the bathroom, we were always within 100 ft of
each other no matter what. In a way we were a gang and our leader was *alias* Blake.
The order from most to least important was Blake, Chris, Luke, and Nat. I'm not sure
where I fit in. I just hung off Blake's arm like a puppy, like I had since
kindergarten. If Blake asked for us to do something, anything, we'd do it. We might
actually jump off a bridge if he told us to. He was a natural leader and charming to
top it off, whenever he didn't do his homework he could talk the teacher into letting
him slide without even telling a lie. He was what people strive for, even when he did
wrong he did it perfectly, when something happened he never lost his head. He was
always cool calm and collected. And if it didn't help he looked like a god, muscular
and tone and handsome so handsome. He was like no other person I will ever meet. I
mean simply gorgeous. His eyes are this mixture of green and brown and his hair is so
long and well kept and this rich earthy dark brown he amazes me.
Well he started to get into drug and partying and alcohol and all this other stuff.
And it got worst and worst and he dragged us into it. We had been straight edges
aside from cursing and pranking but we got baaaad. We started doing drugs and
drinking and smoking got tattooed got pierced started having sex, for the most part.
Anyway, he started going to these really weird clubs, I mean like totally blacklight,
no ID, vampire/cult clubs. And all this stuff started to go wrong. He started
distancing himself from us and idk at some point that summer we'd started dating and
as much as he had one night stand he'd never touched me in that way. Until oneday, we
had this ritual style sex which was my first time and pretty creepy. BUT later on he
just disappeared. Things slowed down we partied a little less but for the most part
on until school started we were worse. And then maybe 2 months ago he contacted me.
All this stuff happened in between. I got in this on again of again relationship with
this girl, occasionally bumped my cousin (I know, gross whatever) and a short
relationship with my older brother (I know grosser stfu) anyway recently I decided to
go to New York and visit him and as it would turn out he actually got into this cult
thing. And the cult thing was really into me joining I mean they were going to force
me to join. And he stopped that we dyed our hair and he borrowed a really good friend
of his' car and we came back down and he stays with me and everyone else living at my
house now. Well he's not over me and he really want some back and I adore him. I
can't not adore him anyone who meet him adores him. When he's here things fall into
place. He's cracking down on all the stuff we started doing that summer and he's
actually been getting me to eat and sleep more and smoke less. He just hypnotizes us.
But I still sort of like the girl I mentioned earlier and she likes me but I know I
can't stay faithful. That's why we broke up. Sadly I know I can stay faithful to
Blake but not her. IDK what to do. I love them both so much and I've been through
alot with both of them. She's really amazing. But she's in Utah.
While Jasha has been there since I was little and he's always protected me. I just
can't get over what he did.