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HoroscopesCategory: Untrue But funny - HOROSCOPES
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
02:58:07 AM (GMT)

Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These
independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally
confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical,
responsible, persevering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of
persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for
themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They
are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm
stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for. 

Personality :

Practical and prudent
Ambitious and disciplined
Patient and careful
Humorous and reserved

Pessimistic and fatalistic
Miserly and grudging


The spring equinox, March 21, is the beginning of the new zodiacal year and Aries,
the first sign, is therefore that of new beginnings. The young ram is adventurous,
ambitious, impulsive, enthusiastic and full of energy. The Arian is a pioneer both in
thought and action, very open to new ideas and a lover of freedom. They welcome
challenges and will not be diverted from their purpose except by their own
impatience, which will surface if they don't get quick results.


Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil


The Taurean's characteristics are solidity, practicality, extreme determination and
strength of will - no one will ever drive them, but they will willingly and loyally
follow a leader they trust. They are stable, balanced, conservative good, law-abiding
citizens and lovers of peace, possessing all the best qualities of the bourgeoisie.
As they have a sense of material values and physical possessions, respect for
property and a horror of falling into debt, they will do everything in their power to
maintain the security of the status quo and be somewhat hostile to change.


Patient and reliable
Warmhearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security loving

Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greed


Gemini, the sign of the Twins, is dual-natured, elusive, complex and contradictory.
On the one hand it produces the virtue of versatility, and on the other the vices of
two-facedness and flightiness. The sign is linked with Mercury, the planet of
childhood and youth, and its subjects tend to have the graces and faults of the
young. When they are good, they are very attractive; when they are bad they are more
the worse for being the charmers they are. Like children they are lively, and happy,
if circumstances are right for them, or egocentric, imaginative and restless. They
take up new activities enthusiastically but lack application, constantly needing new
interests, flitting from project to project as apparently purposelessly as a
butterfly dancing from flower to flower. To them life is a game which must always be
full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine. Changing
horses in the middle of the stream is another small quirk in the Gemini personality
which makes decision making, and sticking to a decision, particularly hard for them.


Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively

Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive


The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs
of the zodiac. It can range from the timid, dull, shy and withdrawn to the most
brilliant, and famous Cancerians are to be found through the whole range of human
activity. It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the
nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a
respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her
strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family. `Nest
like' is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to
favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the
air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a
showcase to impress visitors.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a
time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent
contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned,
unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd,
intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on
inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a
sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love. They
are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their
imaginations. They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying
to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal. They are appreciative of art and
literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action
and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable
literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can
sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may
make them overact. Interestingly - because they give the impression of being
down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic
influence than the average. If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge
to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at
best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their
idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would
be as a leader in a youth organization.


Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic

Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go


The Leo type is the most dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert of all the
zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of
personality, they are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts. They
are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent,
self-confident there is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies, and they are
self-controlled. Born leaders, either in support of, or in revolt against, the status
quo. They are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal
magnetism and innate courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from
subordinates. They are uncomplicated, knowing exactly what they want and using all
their energies, creativeness and resolution to get it, as well as being certain that
they will get whatever they are after. Their followers know where they are with
Leonians. Leonians think and act bigger than others would normally dare; the
ambitiousness of their schemes and idealism sometimes daunt their followers, their
practical hardheadedness and ability to go straight to the heart of any problem
reassures those who depend on them. If Leonians meet with setbacks they thrive on the


Generous and warmhearted
Creative and enthusiastic
Broad-minded and expansive
Faithful and loving

Pompous and patronizing
Bossy and interfering
Dogmatic and intolerant


Virgo is the only zodiacal sign represented by a female. It is sometimes thought of
as a potentially creative girl, delicately lovely; sometimes as a somewhat older
woman, intelligent but rather pedantic and spinsterish. The latter impression is
sometimes confirmed by the Virgoan preciseness, refinement, fastidious love of
cleanliness, hygiene and good order, conventionality and aristocratic attitude of
reserve. They are usually observant, shrewd, critically inclined, judicious, patient,
practical supporters of the status quo, and tend toward conservatism in all
departments of life. On the surface they are emotionally cold, and sometimes this
goes deeper, for their habit of suppressing their natural kindness may in the end
cause it to atrophy, with the result that they shrink from committing themselves to
friendship, make few relationships, and those they do make they are careful to keep


Modest and shy
Meticulous and reliable
Practical and diligent
Intelligent and analytical

Fussy and a worrier
Overcritical and harsh
Perfectionist and conservative


Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac, all the others representing either
humans or animals. Many modern astrologers regard it as the most desirable of
zodiacal types because it represents the zenith of the year, the high point of the
seasons, when the harvest of all the hard work of the spring is reaped. There is a
mellowness and sense of relaxation in the air as mankind enjoys the last of the
summer sun and the fruits of his toil. Librans too are among the most civilized of
the twelve zodiacal characters and are often good looking. They have elegance, charm
and good taste, are naturally kind, very gentle, and lovers of beauty, harmony (both
in music and social living) and the pleasures that these bring.


Diplomaitic and urbane
Romantic and charming
Easygoing and sociable
Idealistic and peaceable

Indecisive and changeable
Gullible and easily infuenced
Flirtatious and self-indulgent


Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two
principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively
and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under
a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different
ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they
are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence
comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth
of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an
argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are
unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the
validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the
Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are
prepared to learn from everyone.


Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached


Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous
qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the
feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any
suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people,
partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or
challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around
them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt
them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out
rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with
the problems of others than with their own.


Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

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