an emo break down: is this a transformation? Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by jacksfriend. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: 7/20/07 in category (general)

an emo break down: is this a transformation?Category: (general)
Saturday, 1 September 2007
06:56:23 AM (GMT)
yesterday i had a break down...CJ and i fought like normal...but she threw Kairi
across the the room and she broke(Kairi's a toy). I wasn't that bad i could've fixed
her but her foot came off and i could find it. This all seems really stupid right
now, but am the time it seemed so much more inmportant. From there i went down hill,
saying i hated her, and that i could kill her. I began just rambling on about stuff
that had nothing to do with that. Saying i want to go home where everything was okay.
i even went down that whole "i'm fat and ugly" road again. slowly i started doubting
my existant and saying that none of this was worth it.... baisically i just wanted to
die right then and there. it got worse when i could find my journal or scetchbook, my
usual outlet for pain like that. then i remembered my friend saying that cutting
herself takes the pain i scratched my arms up with my finger nails and dug
them into the skin. there was no blood, i just broke the skin, but still, i felt like
my pain was released and was better, aleast until the stinging stopped.i think i hav
depression, it runs in my family, and heard that people who suffer from depresson can
hav breakdowns like that over little things. i had a treacher who was depressed and
she told us that not being able to find a pair of pants set off one of her
breakdowns. i know whats wronge i just don't know how to get help.....

ndabf says:   1 September 2007   567899  
wow. i get like that sometimes. dont worry. you'll get through it
so_bored says :   1 September 2007   384323  
honestly jacksfriend...i've felt like just dropping dead at times
before...but i knew i couldn't and i wouldn't give up on life...cause
i knew that i still had you


Related Entries
KittyDollChan: Cutting :3 poems
‹Serenity Chan›: Cutting
Eccentric_: Taking up cutting again?Say it ain't so! Who cares,Elliot?Gosh D:
michele10cool: Diary 12 July
‹Blossom Butt<3›: backstabbed or friend ?

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012