Saturday, 7 July 2007
12:09:30 AM (GMT)
well, daniel found out that i compare him to Max a lot...i feel bad because i know
no one will ever be able to replace him...Archie says that that's probably true
because he was my first and the fact that i lost him so tragically hurts...he was
killed in Richmond,and only cause he was following me around.it's my fault he's
dead....i miss him SO much.
know what? Gold told me that Kei has a crush on him, but Gold doesn't want to
tell Kei that he's straight cuz he "doesn't want to hurt him." wow......Gold must be
attracting the wrong kinda people! if he doesn't tell Kei, than i will.
my boyfriend wants me to keep going to his youth group,but that's not my thing. i
hate lying to him telling him that stuff came up, but i don't think that he'd listen
if i told him that i don't want to go 'cuz i don't really like it...a little while
ago, he invited me to a youth thing at the lake,but i said no....not because i didn't
want to go but....cause i didn't want go...does that make any sense?i wanted to go
cause i thought i'd be fun, but i'm WAY too self-conscience about the way i look....i
feel fat all the time... i avoid situations where i would have to wear something that
would make it worse....all my friends say that ur skinny,but i'm only skinny
compaired to them...i go through phases where i won't eat very much at all...not like
anorexic or anything,but more like extreme dieting.that's always my excuse....i'm on
a diet. i feel bad about my eating habbits, but i feel worse about my weight....i
only weigh 115lbs but i still feel too fat around my hips and belly... i'm just good
at fooling everyone else....