Wednesday, 29 May 2013
10:16:07 PM (GMT)
The question that is always asked:
How are you?
good, how are you?
fine, thank you.
But what about:
How are you really?
Just ask me for the truth and I'll hand it over.
How am I really?
Not the cute pining over this guy that is in love with this other girl and I wish he
would realize his dream girl is standing right in front of him kind of lonely.
No, I don't have enough confidence for that.
I'm not even pining over anybody.
I'm just lonely.
Not the tragic kind of lonely that people write about in books and plays where the
person is truly, completely alone in that perfect sort of way.
I'm not utterly alone.
I'm just alone, and lonely and empty.
Like I was only born with half a heart. It was never broken and half stolen.
No, I was only born with half a heart and I'm not capable of being fully alive.
It's like I can't afford to fall in love.
And somebody falling in love with me? That would only cause destruction.
If they really loved me, they would give me half of their heart, or their whole
But I can't repay properly, and so either way, they would only get a half a heart in
But I would never be able to live with myself, even then, with a full heart, not
knowing that I cursed somebody the way I was once cursed.
I just cannot.
So I'm just lonely, and so I shall remain....