It's kinda dumb and doesn't really make sense, but oh well

My brain is a knife
My eyes are screaming
My hands are the guns 
That keep me from dreaming
My heart beats fast
But not fast enough
Wishing it would stop
Stop trying to act tough
My legs can move 
But never forward, just back
Trying to retrace my steps
But never finding any tracks
I am a monster
Never strong enough to fight
I am a monster
One that cries silently in the night
My brain is a knife
My eyes are screaming
Yet there's always something else
That will stop me from believing