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This diary entry is written by ‹~(Shaywee)~›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Anime Boston, Saturday, April 7th, 2012. in category (general)

God fucking damn it.Category: (general)
Monday, 9 April 2012
06:10:57 PM (GMT)
God fucking damn it. I'm not perfect. I can't just be in a million places at once,
I'm not three people, I'm not five people, I'm one people. I can't do everything you
want me to do. I can't multitask, you know that. You should know that. 
God fucking damn it.
All you ever do is tell me how I'm never enough, not good enough. No, my well being
doesn't matter, not at all. I forgot, I'm just a toy for everyone to tear up and step
on. That's all I've ever been to people.
God fucking damn it.
They're never proud of me. No one is. They say they are, they're just doing it so I
don't cut again. Well it isn't working, fuckers. Stop lying to me. I know for a
fucking fact that I don't make you proud, that I'm not worth bragging about. I  never
go the extra mile. You tell me one thing, I try my hardest, you tell me it's okay if
I can't and then I don't make it and I never hear the end of how I wasn't trying hard
enough. Nothing is ever good enough, you're never satisfied. 
God fucking damn it.
Stop relying on me. We all know I'm not reliable. Stop believing in me. Stop having
faith in me. Just stop.
I know I'm not good enough. Stop fucking reminding me. And stop lying to me.
Just stop.
I can't fucking take it any longer. 
I just want to stay in this room until I die.
Nobody will need me.
they can put me out of their lives, where I belong.
Because I will never be the perfect friend, daughter, grand daughter, great grand
daughter, niece, student, cousin, artist, drummer, fucking PERSON that you expected
me to be.

God fucking damn it.


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