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Wednesday, 13 April 2011
01:48:19 AM (GMT)
I'm too sober. All the time. Even when I'm on stuff. Nothing changes. I want harder stuff, because I just need everything to go away for a while. ----- I wonder if Caleb and Jesse caught that earlier. About the trying of my gag reflex. And me jokingly saying that I could never be bulimic. I was really trying. ------- I'm constantly scared I'm not there. That one day, I won't be there for someone, or I'll say the wrong thing And then they'll be gone. Just like Kyle. ---- I know I should stop cutting. I know I should tell Jesse to stop cutting. To help her stop. But I can't stop myself, and it just feels good to not be the only one. I'm a selfish bitch. --- Fifty-six new cuts. For luck. Because I'm an idiot.
Last edited: 13 April 2011

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