Sunday, 9 January 2011
07:30:39 AM (GMT)
she doesnt understand.
nomatter how much id like to explain
she doesnt realize
the feelings in my heart
and all the pain
shes not me
she'll never be
ill never think
she ever will see
that in my heart
in my mind
under everything i look or act like
im still me
that girl from sixth grade
im still me
its no parade
if she doesnt see
who i am inside
she's changed more than
all my lost pride
but in this new year
i shall pronounce
my life will change
nomore game of friendship bounce
if she comes back she does
and well be friends forever
if she stays back behind the buz
ill never listen to apologies later.
i may look or act completely like a scene
i may seem to be everything she may think i may be
but shes not here to listen to me cry
im always her shoulder
always by her ide
ive never told her the things ive ALWAYS wanted to say
like how i was raped 3 times
or how i miss her everyday
the problem about this
little poetic ryme
is that im letting loose
all my heart at one time
ill announce to the world
i dont fucking care
you can all fucking suck air
so if you ever read this, my dearest kim...
if you ever see this, ill let you know my ytears are at brim..
my heart is aching
and its breaking
you dont and wont understand my pain
your a childish fool
if you think
my life is just a game
let me tell you as "friend" to friend
those pictures that we took?
i look at every night before bed.
you never really tryed
to get to know the real me
the reasons why i 99% of the time
cry before i sleep.
the work i put into finding who i am?
or did you ever know how badly i miss my real dad?
you have a mother. and a bfather, and so much more.
im constantly walking right out the door.
looking behind me? never.
i only try to be me, nothing more or nothing better.
a fashion is a fashion.
its nothing more and nothing less.
following the crowd is nothing
when you have no want to be like the rest.
i sty up, night and day, never sleep, and always think,
my father, who is he?
i really miss him so.
did you know i have a grandma that died two weeks ago?
she wanted to meet me ohsobadly, my fathers mother.
now ill never know, my fathers side, the others.
my heart is aching its really breaking you never will understand
if you could see through my mask
the pain i hide forever andd
my heart is aching its really breaking im fineally done.
this isnt even the begining of who i really am.