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Epiphany.Category: Boring stuff that makes Nina think.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
04:59:16 PM (GMT)
We were supposed to be so much more than just a summer love. I assume, forever ended. But not on my part. When forever ends, what am I supposed to do? It's my birthday. I'm sitting in the dark, writing this expression of feeling. Birthdays are always some sort of celebration. Birthdays should be a time of happiness. I had a dream, last night. It was my birthday, my birthday party. You were there, everybody was. But the feeling of you in my dreams wasn't. It was painful to see your face. It was painful to see you avoid me in every way you could. It's painful to feel alone, on your birthday. Somebody made me realize something the other night. Somebody wise and dear to me. They asked me, "Is the heart ache worth it?" I answered, "I guess it isn't."

‹InsertAwesomeUsernameHere› says:   8 June 2010   307687  
kristina. its a bit late but youve always wanted me to apologize, and
i never did. im sorry for being an ass and not apologizing. i was
being defiant. it made me feel better in a way. but now reading over
this.. im sorry for hurting you, ignoring you and being a bad friend.
it wasnt right. if i was a real friend i would have been there and
cared. but actually, im just a big fraidy cat with a big road but no
bite. i used to think intimidation made friends. it doesnt. you felt
numb.. hopelezs and upset on your birthday, im sorry. i can relate
thou. every day i feel sick, hollow like nothings there because of
what ive done. i push myself away from my friends because of how
depressed i get over this. i see you in a lot of people, and it makes
me sick because ive ben trying to forget what ive done and i can
because i feel cornered. and ive never really told anyone all this
because of how foolish i sound and how desprate. i cry a lot still, im
nostalgic. im not asking for you back or even your friendship because
even thats goin a bit far but im asking for your acceptence of
apology. not even to be forgiven. likeou said in your later diary, it
hurts more to lose a friend. youve moved on and want nothing to do
with me but im still stuck in 09. ive slowly been getting over it.
slowly. i saw you in emma. thats mainly why i dated her. to make up
for what i lost, but it ddnt do anything. im a crazy bitch with
issues, i know. if i could id have never asked you out. because th
cost me ashley and you.
‹InsertAwesomeUsernameHere› says:   8 June 2010   645150  
‹InsertAwesomeUsernameHere› says :   8 June 2010   796427  
but like u said how u felt alone on ur bday ive felt that every bday
ive had along side every other day of my life. ffft. sorry about the
spelling errors im on my phone


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