Tuesday, 6 October 2009
11:24:21 PM (GMT)
“God dammit!” she screamed.
Rewind. Back. Back when she was a little child, focusing the glare of her father's
flashlight on unsuspecting shadows. On these days she complained of a knotted
and wasn't content with staying at home. Her parents stood nearby watching,
Evaluation after evaluation, she was always fine, her behavior, though a bit strange
seemed entirely normal. Now...
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she screamed. Tears ran down her cheeks. She kicked a hole in
side of the comforter. “I have terrible balance! Rolling, rolling, rolling down
vertical faced cliff into an abyss no light can unveil. Is this a cover-up? My
life is nowhere to be found. What am I searching for? Stepping further into a
non-existent realm... like anything will cure this unbelievable itch! And this
it? How can one who sees the universe stripped bare possibly carry out these common
emotions put on by the common man? Why did I enter into this? Why do I continue to
around? What is a fucking intellectual?! A person dissatisfied with questions...
beautiful questions. Then the answers sink down past the gates of hell, and suddenly
common man is transformed into a hideous, egotistical beast who fucks any questions
move (unnerved by innocence) all while using a bitter, patronizing tone.”
No one knocked on her door that evening. That was the evening she ripped in half an
insignificant book. That was the evening she screamed her thoughts, paper not enough.
That was the evening she bled and bled and bled, then ate and ate and ate.
“Curse the walls and the grass and the sea. I'm spoiled raw meat.”
She stuck her fingers down her throat to force open the knot.
“The exotic fish in the tank carry streams of shit. The actress has red bumps. The
cereal has little holes and I want to crawl inside. I want to douse myself in red
bumps and shit. I want everyone to douse themselves in red bumps and shit until it
becomes beautiful. Then I want to cum for a lifetime, climax building until death
They called her “smart” and “attractive” and “the most amazing person I've
ever met in my life”. They bid on her and she was traded for 64 kopecks and the
fattest sow. She talked to herself in the mirror with the flashlight until all the
black receded. Now it was in her stomach.
She pointed the flashlight down her throat. The mirror wasn't bold enough.
“God is bought and sold, while in creeps black despite my heightened awareness,
down, down, down my throat.”
It was a winter's night. No one came to her door. All clocks were hidden. Was it 5:30
She closed her eyes, sure not to fall asleep.
After an hour, she wrote down on the notepad, “Check under sofa”, shut the world
off and slipped into Heaven.
Last edited: 7 October 2009