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This diary entry is written by Mew_Emo_Chibi. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Help me please in category (general)

Help?Category: (general)
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
04:08:49 PM (GMT)
I need oppinions my english hw was to write a short story about 300 words about
anything you want this is what i did please tell me what you think about it and how i
could improve it it needs to be in for friday so please help me cause i think it's
absolutly awefull.

   Fire everywhere smoke filled the air. I sat huddled in the corner as I watched
them burn, clutching the red phoenix medallion in my hand. Tears trickled down my
face as I began to choke, my eyes never left the man. Standing tall and proud by the
door he watched me and everyone else as they burned, a small smirk pulling at his
lips as he heard their screams. 
  He clicked his fingers and a smaller man came to his side, clicking them again the
other man ran over to me dodging the flames. Now in front of me I saw his face, short
soot black hair and dark brown eyes, his pale face was twisted with different
emotions. Hatred, anger, confusion and worst of all for me. Pity. Suddenly he bound
my hands and feet and stuffed me in a sack. I felt it being lifted and started to
bounce up and down as the man started to run. Another scream reached my ears but the
words were muffled, holding the red phoenix to my chest I began to cry once more.

   What felt like hours later the sack opened and I came face to face with the first
man. His smile was demented showing sharp white teeth, his brown hair pulled back
into a pony tail and his cold blue eyes glaring at me with such hate and pain. I
tried to shrivel away but he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me out of the
sack throwing me across the room into a wall. My head smacked against it sending a
searing pain down my spine, I tried to stand up again only to be knocked down by his
fist in my stomach.

   He knelt down so we were face to face again and pulled out a sharp knife, I stared
at it with wide eyes terrified. This made him smirk; suddenly he grabbed my arm and
cut it open. I screamed at top of my lungs as tears poured down my cheeks. He looked
at me with such disgust and disappointment in his eyes as he muttered something under
his breath.

   “Worthless boy.” He kicked me in ribs chest and another searing pain spread
through out my body. Whispering one word I passed out.


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