Nonmonogamy, or how I learnt to stop worrying and love whoever I like. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 
 

This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
 
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Nonmonogamy, or how I learnt to stop worrying and love whoever I like.Category: (general)
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
07:52:43 PM (GMT)
So, this entry is going to be an explanation of nonmonogamy. A quick disclaimer:
explaining nonmonogamy clearly in words isn't something I've managed to accomplish
yet, and it may not be possible, so you'll have to fill in the gaps with your own
thinking. You'll also need a fair degree of maturity and some experience with
relationships in general...

First, imagine all the things that you can get from a bf/gf (or bf/bf, or gf/gf)
relationship. The people I've asked have said things like care, love, security,
common interests, sex, affection, etc.

Now, cross out all the ones which you can't get from a close friendship. I'll go
through the ones I listed above.

  • Care: You can get that from friendships, I think we're pretty sure of that.
  • Love: A bit circular here... but if you think about it, you can love a friend, right?
  • Security: You feel secure with your friends. If a friend reassures you a lot, then you feel secure, aye?
  • Common Interests: Definitely.
  • Sex: As disagreeable as you may find it, I think we can accept that it is possible to have sex with a friend.
  • Affection: Definitely. If you've never hugged a friend, you're missing out.
One thing, though, one (actually two, but more on that later) thing cannot be gotten from a friendship that can be gotten from a gf/bf (or gf/gf, or bf/bf) relationship, otherwise known as a monogamous relationship, and that is ownership. The idea that you are the only one who can be in that kind of a relationship with that other person. Doesn't sound that romantic, does it? Nonmonogamy is basically putting that idea into practise. To demonstrate, here is a scenario: Monogamy works like this: Peta loves Jamil. Peta asks Jamil to be her boyfriend. Jamil says yes. Nonmonogamy works like this: Peta loves Jamil. Jamil loves Peta. They both express this love for eachother in whatever way they like. This is the basics of nonmonogamy. There are various advantages and things you can do with nonmonogamy that you can't do with monogamy, but that is for another entry.

Comments 
SoupQueen says:   31 July 2007   197755  
big words O_o
lol
starwarschick says:   31 July 2007   696545  
This is really interesting... *subscribes to neoeno's diary*
Kamino says:   31 July 2007   111284  
*Rubs chin* Shes right... big words. O.0

Possession... A possessive something to call 'mine', thats what a
monogamous relationship is... right? *Smirks* Thats what it sounds
like...
neoeno says:   1 August 2007   217734  
Yesh! Monogamy is the model most romantic relationships are built
around also. It's the "normal" relationship.
 
‹EvaHEROIN› says:   1 August 2007   334127  
(If I had a beard, I'd be twiddling it :P)
Yeah...sounds like us...*lickz!*
Though I'd get a lick in there :P
So, its being able to express your love in as many ways as you want,
and not be confined...Hm...?
I think thats what I got >_>
Butbut...
Didn't know you could be so SIMPLE >=D
...
Sowweh Steviie
*hugz*
I don't know what I'm talking about O_O
 
x_dopeshow says:   1 August 2007   814252  
I wish I could practice this.
I tried when Lee and I first started,
but he's the 'jealous' type.
And has to be the only to ever kiss/hold me.
o/O
I still sneak things with people though.
Wrought_Iron_Rose sings:   1 August 2007   865739  
Yaaaaay! I love how you broke it down and put it to words (like SOLID
words)!
Really (I think) non-monogamy is one of the few ways to have a
relationship without the inevitability someone's feelings will get
hurt (the down side of many monogamous relationships, unfortunately
v_v). *glompz!*
LunaSakura says:   2 August 2007   927264  
Very interesting...I understand what you're trying to say, and you've
actually put it across very clearly (or at least I think so). Good
stuff.
 
starwarschick says:   2 August 2007   453774  
So non-monogamy is... um... compassion?
neoeno says:   2 August 2007   421411  
No...
 
MojoHuma asks:   23 August 2007   731666  
Friends can have sex? Why was I never told about this?
neoeno says:   23 August 2007   219379  
Well you'd know... I mean.. you've gone to an all-girls school, the
law of erotica-inertia dictates that you must have had a lesbian
experience with your best friend.
 
MojoHuma says:   23 August 2007   258854  
Well the law is wrong. The only lesbian experience I had was not with
my best friend. It was in fact...*omitted text*

Haha! Left you hanging!
neoeno says:   23 August 2007   774621  
I bet it was with a teacher.

In fact, I bet you haven't had any lesbian experiences!
 
Emerald says :   5 October 2007   877766  
well writin but i dont understand
 
 
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