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This diary entry is written by pussydestroyer. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: films imma watch eventually in category (general)
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back at it againCategory: (general)
Sunday, 22 April 2018
09:16:59 PM (GMT)
i'm really depressed and tired so fuck it
more tmi shit

1) sexual orientation
am bisexual

2) what i'm really bad at
in terms of something that i enjoy but suck at, it's definitely art. i can only do
portraits facing in one direction, or copy realism pictures lmao. i have no real
original skills apart from my style.

3) celebrity i'd fuck
it has always been mcavoy. he's beautiful. although, i'm not really one of those
people who thinks about fucking famous people lmao

4) best first date
i've never been on a date/in a proper relationship

5) description of my self esteem
it's very conflicting and fluctuating. generally i really loathe myself and think i'm
gross and boring, but sometimes i think i'm really interesting and skilled, smart and
attractive. it doesn't last long.

6) best friend's name
erin

7) favourite book
the uncut tapes of the interviews with lenny mclean. it's such an interesting book
and i loved learning about his life stories like... from him? kind of? idk i love his
cockney speak and the fact it felt like he was talking to me even tho he's been dead
longer than i've been alive.

 biggest turn offs
being boring af. if you have like a vapid, empty personality or you're the same as
everyone else i'm just not interested.

9) description of my best friend
she's tall, very pretty and hilarious. a bit basic white girl, a hint of emo and
definitely a spicy gal. also a RETARD with terrible taste.

10) favourite animal
bears! grizzly and black bears are my favourites.

11) someone i miss
my aunt lesley. she was so funny and roasted tf out of everyone, especially my mum.

12) reason behind my last breakup
it was mad awkward, since we were the only queers in school, and he kept pissing me
off with his weeby shit tbh lmao. we used to be good friends but he stopped talking
to me when he got a job lmao.

13) what i did yesterday
i went to a family barbecue at erin's, squared up to her ex boyfriend and ate cake.
it was a v nice day. he flinched at me!

14) greatest achievements
i got a father signini effort award in year six. that's about it lmao

15) description of who i dislike the most
fucking hell okay. disgusting attention-whoring manipulative druggie slag who only
starves herself to brag about it on instagram. taking pictures of your drips and
slashed up arms to talk about your "journey" whilst actively rejecting using the help
wisely is not going to get you anywhere. i hate the fact that everyone forgives you
and thinks you're strong when our shitty personality will only push them away again
and you'll be left all alone. fuck you lol

16) favourite songs
i'm just gonna do the top 10 bops of all time
hymn for the shameless - alesana
hey there mr brooks - asking alexandria
leech boy - crywank
ghosttown - yung lean
prada - lil peep
doves - rory
mdma - emmure
black damask - motionless in white
reese's pieces i don't know who john cleese is - i set my friends on fire
the boy who could fly - pierce the veil

17) how my last kiss went down
i was smashed at a house party. that's how every kiss ive ever had has gone down
lmao

1 what i find attractive in the preferred sex
for dudes i like emotional boys and aggression lmao
in girls i like no vanity or shallowness and kind hearts.
i find humour so attractive in both pls be funny

19) pets
i got two dogs and two cats. all of them r assholes

20) favourite ice cream flavour
coffee! or vanilla since coffee is a surprisingly hard ice cream to find.

21) where i want to be right now
in a field somewhere with the sun shining, some good music, a lil picnic and friends.
that would b golden. and also a spliff 

22) worst thing someone said to me
my brother called me ugly yesterday and that was pretty sore )): idk about the worst
thing ever said to me. i think it's one of the few memories i'm still repressing.

23) places i've lived
i've never lived outside of south wales

24)i'll love you if...
you're nice to me and funny lmao

25) future plans
become a teacher in media communications! maybe even a professor...

26) an internal conflict i have
do i have difficult problems, or am i making things worse for myself?

27) what i'm doing tomorrow
i have class in the afternoon and then erin and i are going to get high before we go
home

2 what i want to be when i grow up
successful

29) most embarrassing moment?
running thru one of my neighbouring villages with a broken zimmer frame at midnight
with my shirt over my head. i was v drunk

30) two insecurities
my weight and my appearance

31) if i won the lottery...
idk i'd probably not do much with it. i'm not that frivolous a spender so i'd buy
myself a few nice things but not do much else with it tbh.

32) description of my crush
i don't have one

33) favourite thing about myself
i have a really vivid imagination

34) pet peeves
i have sensory issues. any kind of mouth sounds like chewing or people who have a dry
mouth when they talk just gets me so much.

35) bands i've seen live
omfg a lot. i've seen asking alexandria, the ghost inside, secrets, crown the empire,
alvarez kings, pvris, bring me the horizon, young guns, neck deep, bullet for my
valentine, sikth, slipknot, suicidal tendencies, black veil brides, chiodos, fearless
vampire killers, tonight alive, tesseract, karnivool, animals as leaders,
evanescence, the pretty reckless and pentatonix. 

36) kids in the future? how many?
i don't like kids, but i want some when im older anyway lmao. i'd only want one or
two though.

37) my idea of a perfect date
dinner and cinema, or something cute like going for a picnic in a park on a nice
day.

3 what i'm really good at
essays!

39) most traumatic experience
being a childhood, high school and my first year of college are close competitors.

40) where i would like to live
here! i love where i live, albeit all the socioeconomic issues

41) nicest thing said to me
a few people have told me i have a beautiful personality, or they admire my passion
for things i like.

42) do i like where i am now
yes i do! and now that the weather is beautiful i love it even more.

43) what can i hear right now?
kyary pamyu pamyu, the wind and distant passing trains, and kids playing in the
street. it's nice/

44) relationship with siblings
my sister and i have a very conflicting relationship. she's a really selfish person
and horrible, so we tend to argue and clash a lot. i don't see much of my brother but
i love him. he doesn't like me because he doesn't see me often but i think he's
cuuuuute.

45) biggest worry
i won't ever get better, and i'll die because of my mental state.

46) something i'm waiting for
my mum to come home lmao

47) relationship with parents
i love my mum a lot but now and again we have serious difficulties with each other.
she doesn't always quite accept and understand that i'm having problems and it can
cause arguments. my dad is quite selfish and ignorant, but he and i share a lot of
issues so we connect over that. he understands me better, he's just dumb tbh lmao

4 something i should've said a long time ago
"i need help"

49) last text message recieved
it was someone's phone number

50) last text message sent
"yes i'm still in the house don't be a dick"

51) what i hate most about myself
my weight lmao

52) biggest turn ons
domination and good sense of humour,,, i keep saying it but make me chuckle

53) words that upset me
triggered

54) what i hate most about school
it's so far away,,,, my daily commute is about two hours. its painful.

55) what i'm wearing
a long sleeve black shirt and my knickers lol

56) last thing i ate
chicken and thyme crisps

57) last thing i drank
water

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