Sunday, 15 November 2015
11:07:15 PM (GMT)
Recent events have caused me to remember this incident that happened when I was at a
department store with my mom when I was in middle school.
My mom and I were in the dressing room, and I was trying on clothes, back-to-school
shopping. I was having a lot of anxiety because I had a very negative body image and
everything I tried on didn't fit right and made me look fat. My mom was saying, "I
think you're just in between sizes right now," whatever that meant. Anyway, I leave
the dressing room, my head is down, I'm totally embarrassed and ashamed and
frustrated because I couldn't find anything that looked good on me. I follow my mom
out. A woman and her two kids walk past us. One of her kids looks about my age, the
other is a little girl maybe four years younger. Somehow my mom and this lady start
talking. My mom says, "Yeah, my daughter can't find anything she likes." The woman
says, "My daughter can't either; she's so picky." My mom says, "Well she looks about
the same age and height as my daughter, I think this is just a difficult time to find
clothes." And the mom said, "This? Oh, this," *grabbing the older child's arm* "This
is my son. Yeah, this is a boy." He had long brown hair, longer than mine, and was
honestly extremely beautiful. "Yeah, I keep trying to get him to cut his damn hair
and wear some nicer clothes, but what can you do." I made eye contact with this kid.
Then he looked down and stared at the floor.
I wonder where he is now. If it even was a he. Maybe he goes by she or they pronouns
now, who knows.
I'm just remembering random stuff and feeling sad about it. I wish I couldn't given
him a hug.